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A woman's point of view / being messed around

(4 Posts)
Paolobhoy7 Thu 08-Jan-15 12:39:47

I am a man but do not hold it against me! Just want some friendly female advice. Im 27 and the girl in question 22.
So, a few months ago the landlord's daughter moved in to the pub. After a few weeks she became very touchy and we started a sexual relationship. I wasnt keen on a relationship but agreed to spend time with her and even suggested seeing her to see if things would progress. Shortly after I started to like her, maybe because of my ego and the fact that every bloke in the pub fancied her.
Anyway, she went up town one night with me and ended up sleeping with someone else once I left. After a week or so I gave in and forgave her because we were single even though I felt there was some exclusivity in what we agreed. Since then she has blown hot and cold while demanding all of my attention. Over Xmas I ignored her because she was accusing me of kissing other women and so on. None of it true may I add.
After New Years she suggested seeing each other again and taking things slow. We took the dog for a walk and after she said it felt like we were friends but couldnt stop kissing me and hugging me. The day after, she said she was scared because she thought I liked her more and that she didnt like the situation. Therefore, I ignored her and she sent me a message early next morning if we could do something. My phone died and I have had abuse ever since about what a bad person I am. That I aren't a nice person. i REALLY LIKE HER NOW AND FEEL AS IF SHE IS PLAYING GAMES.

Today I gave in and sent her a message back explaining that she has totally turned my head upside down and that I will be avoiding the pub, that I am confused and that I hope she will be happy in the future.

I just want to hear from a woman's perspective I suppos. What is happening? Why am I sooo upset about someone so cruel?

Paolobhoy7 Thu 08-Jan-15 12:46:05

Just to point out I am not ignoring her for the sake of it, some of what she says can be quite rude and makes me feel bad. She often says things to make me feel bad and when I stop contact because she is blowing hot and cold she will often text two or three occassions to say things are over.

HolyTerror Fri 16-Jan-15 16:31:13

I can't magically know this woman's perspective from your account of it. Maybe she is confused and unstable, maybe terrified of commitment, maybe someone who enjoys playing games (though nothing about your post suggests she's having a good time currently.)

However, what strikes me from your post is your own behaviour, and the language you use about yourself and your actions. You present yourself as a passive passenger, saying she 'became touchy' and started the sexual relationship, although you had no interest in a relationship, as if you were doing her a favour. You make it quite clear that your interest in her was purely down to the fact that your pub mates fancied her, which makes you sound about thirteen. You describe yourself as 'forgiving' her for sleeping with someone else, when you say you were not a couple in any case.

You complain that she blows hot and cold and 'playing games', but aren't you doing exactly the same thing, 'ignoring' her one moment and then complaining she's treating you badly the next? Frankly, I think you need one another like you need a hole in the head. Find another pub, don't shuffle into relationships with pub landlords' daughters just because they're there and the regulars fancy them, and decide what you actually want, rather than having sex with someone, then ignoring them, then having sex with them etc.

Missymum6 Fri 16-Jan-15 16:34:59

Errr maybe I missed something but why do you like her? She sounds like she is messing you about for her own benifit to be honest. You deserve better, cut her loose!

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