My 3 yr old refused to go to nursery for the first time in 6 months today

[lexxxxi75]

My 3 year old goes to a nursery within a school which has got outstanding status, for the past 6 months. She started there when she was just under 3 and straight away she loved it there and had no separation anxiety what so ever....she didn’t even notice i was gone after 1 settling in session. She loves it there and when I take her home she ask if she can go back to nursery and play with her friends.

This week she acted very strangely. She only goes there 3 times a week for 15 hrs a week. On Wednesday (her day off) she mentioned that she can’t use the mouse on my laptop because "she is a silly girl who can’t do anything". I was taken back cos it was such a strong statement about herself for her age. I asked her why she thinks that way she mentioned her key person at nursery called her a silly girl. I ask if she is being naughty. She said “yes” but would not want to discuss anything and she said I’m alright mummy. I didn’t want to pressurise her and wanted to avoid leading questions cos it could probably make matters worse. In the evening when my husband came home my daughter mentioned that a play worker ( her key person) hit her. Then she said “no all my friends hit the play worker”. We discussed how bad hitting is and left at that. This morning which is her favourite day of the week because of swimming at nursery, she refused to go. She was making few excuses but was not too upset. She looked a bit scared but not too stressed. So I dropped her in but mentioned to one play worker that I need to speak to her manager.

My worries are,

• Her key person only spends 1 hour of the day with her as she is not available during the day. The nursery says it is ok. I don’t think it is appropriate as there is no one person to be responsible for 4 hrs of her day she spends there. I very rarely see her key person.
• Nursery doesn’t regularly update me with how she’s been. She is a pleasure to work with in their words. She was scratched by a few other children more than 2 occasions and they were not aware of it even though my daughter mentioned that another play worker stopped the children. But the play worker denied knowledge of it. She had one very bad bruise on her neck and I was not too happy for not recording this incident, although I understand children fighting I don’t really like the fact that they denied any knowledge of it. I like them to be upfront with me so I don’t have doubts.
• She keeps saying she is a “silly girl” for the past 2 days and she knows the meaning. But I tried to explain that it might be whatever naughty thing that she did was silly not that she is a silly girl. But again I think this is out of order as it could discourage her in trying things in case she looks silly. She gets embarrassed very quickly and feels strongly about it. I feels that this is name calling in a way.

Does anyone think I’m just worried for no reason? Or my concerns are fair? Any advice you can give me is greatly appreciated. I’m just very worried that these early anxieties could ruin her bright future. I only got my daughters best interest at heart.

[scaredofowls]

Personally I think this might be a case of over worrying, which is understandable and we all read into things far too much when it concerns our children. Like you said children are rough and mess around which causes bruising, my 3 year old is for ever covered in bruises (gosh that sounds awful) a bruise on the neck is a little less common then say legs and elbows though. I call my dd silly every day, she's 3 of coarse she's silly! But the contexts of how you are saying it could affect the child differently. It could be totally innocent though, maybe she is just a little more tired than usual or feeling a tad under the weather?
I think you should have a meeting with nursery, if anything just to put your mind at rest.