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Guest post from Nadine Dorries, on losing her hair: "it's the last taboo"

40 replies

KateMumsnet · 17/06/2013 11:46

The Conservative MP Nadine Dorries recently discovered that she was losing her hair.

In today's guest post, she describes her feelings of shame at the discovery, and argues that, despite being remarkably common, female baldness is the last taboo.

Read her blog, and let us know what you think. Is this something that has happened to you, or to someone you know? Why is it something that we find so hard to talk about? Share your thoughts on the thread, and if you blog about it, don't forget to post your URL.

"You might notice that your hair brush has more hair on it than usual and you are cleaning it out more often; or maybe when you change your bedding, there is a deposit of hair on your pillow. For some, it happens in the shower, and when you switch the shower off, you lift away the lace veil of hair which is left on your skin.

That had been happening for a while. Not dramatically, but enough to make me pop into a health food shop and buy a bucketful of iron and vitamin supplements with the thought 'that'll sort it' running through my mind.

And then I saw the undisputable evidence that I was no longer just losing my hair, I was going bald.

It was during an ITV News interview with Tom Bradbury and the camera took a shot of the back of my head. And there it was. The size of a 50p. My very own bald patch.

I was immediately swamped with shame, and I cannot explain why.

My daughter took out her iPhone and photographed the back of my head so that I could see the damage for myself - and within minutes I was in tears.

I work in an aggressive male dominated environment, possibly one of the most aggressive in the world. My daughters and I have faced down problems which would have floored Tyson. We are fighters because we had to be - and here was I, the matriarch of my very pragmatic household of three very feminist daughters, crying over my hair.

Why had I been in denial for so long? The photographs revealed that this hadn't happened overnight. My poor daughters had noticed and discussed it amongst themselves - but not with me, because they didn't want to upset me.

And that's it in a nutshell, because there isn't anything we four don't discuss. Female hair loss is the last taboo.

It is important to make the definition here between hair loss due to chemotherapy, which grows back in most cases and female pattern hair loss and alopecia, which in some cases never does.

I am suffering from female pattern hair loss, which is not unlike male pattern baldness. My hair is receding, and at the front and back is now so thin I cannot go out in the sun without a hat; you can see my scalp through my hair, as the picture shows. In addition to this, I suffered a recent dose of stress alopecia, the type which often occurs three months after giving birth and does usually grow back.

I looked a bit deeper into the facts of female hair loss and discovered that, whereas 70% of men suffer hair loss, a massive 40% of women are also affected. But who would know? We never discuss it.

I wrote for a national paper and spoke on the Jeremy Vine show and since then have been inundated with letters and emails from women who have lived through their own dark days of losing their hair with little help.

There is help available, but unfortunately, not a great deal on the NHS. I am being treated by a Harley St trichologist with Dermal HL. It comes highly recommended and has a good track record of effectiveness - but it's only available privately.

No one will be keener than me to see if this treatment works, and I am very fortunate. But I feel it is now my responsibility to campaign for more to be available on the NHS.

It's pointless for GPs to pay for repeated referrals to NHS dermatologists who have no treatment available, and in many cases for anti-depressants to deal with the consequences of female hair loss. For some women, and men, there is alternative help available. GP commissioning groups should consider taking a more innovative and bolder approach, especially in the case of very young women, to purchasing alternative therapies which can help - and that is something I will be working towards.

The proof or not of my treatment will be available to see in a few months. Fingers crossed."

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guineapiglet · 17/06/2013 14:04

Thank you for drawing attention to an issue which is a huge consideration for many women, and for being so honest and upfront about it. Really hope your treatment goes well, lets hope it becomes something which can be easily afforded and accessed by the women who need it. I have witnessed the effect this horrible condition had on a very close relative, who felt it was her own fault and terribly ashamed,. A visit to a consultant dermatologist was humiliating and cruel ...' I am a doctor not a miracle worker' was the constructive comment arising out of the consultation. We live in a society which is all about image, sadly, and beautiful thick tresses are part of our femininity - to lose this results in total lack of identity, confidence and esteem.

We should, I suppose, in our way be grateful that Mr Rooney did a public service by confronting his own balding scalp with paying large sums of money for hair transplants - although as a society we are used to, and tolerant of balding men, balding women is, as you say, a taboo subject.

I have watched my own hair' thin' due to the onset of menopause, and general age and wear and tear, and have been taking a hair supplement which I have found has made a huge difference, but am still fearful that as this condition is in the family, it will become my cross to bear, so am grateful that it now has recognition. Looking forward to hearing how and if your treatment works, and if and when it will become accessible to other women who are suffering - at a cost most of us will be able to afford.