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Advice needed 16 yr old with no motivation

(6 Posts)
PLM44 Mon 13-May-13 18:51:28

My 16 year old son has been put on study leave from school because he was mis-behaving in class and affecting other childrens GCSE revisions. He has been off school 2 weeks now and starts his GCSE's tomorrow. He has done little revision despite me keep reminding him how important it is. We have visited several colleges in order to try and get him to pick a course, downloaded prospectus and given him application forms, but he just does not know what he wants to do. He then said he would like to do an apprenticeship so I showed him the apprentiships website and set him up an account. He started completing the application form but then said he couldn't be bothered. So I sat with him and asked him questions whilst typing it myself. We then found roles he might like to apply for but he just won't do it. He just says he does not want to do anything. He says hes not interested in anything and he doesnt like doing anything. I am so stressed and worried what is going to happen to him after his exams are over. He will have no job, no college course, and no prospects, but I can't think what else I can do to get him motivated to sort it out. Does anybody else have the same problem sad

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Mon 13-May-13 19:50:45

Could he be depressed? Is he sleeping ok? Seeing friends still?

PLM44 Mon 13-May-13 20:20:26

He is sleeping & I can't keep him in most of the time. I have spoken to him about smoking weed as I am sure he does sometimes. I know this can cause mood swings.
He just won't make any decisions, does not know what he wants to do post school and he does not really care about anything. He is rude to both me and his dad and homelife is horrible at the moment. We have a younger daughter who is the complete opposite and she has to live with all the arguments its not fair.

mermaidbutmytailfelloff Mon 13-May-13 20:29:58

If it helps at all I had one of these........he is now 21 and a completely different person who has been known to lecture his little brother about revision.

I tried everything, support, shouting, grounding, not grounding......the only thing that helped was time passing. He now has found a chosen path and is really motivated to achieve it.

It is their life. You can help and guide, but at the age of 16 the choices are theirs

Sorry I have no words of wisdom, but I do know how helpless it feels - and how bloody angry you can get too.

PLM44 Mon 13-May-13 20:55:33

Thanks - I have tried encouraging him to choose a college course or apply for an apprenticeship but he just won't commit to anything.
I am now thinking of not going on about any of it from now on, let him get his exams out of the way and wait until he makes a decision or asks for my help.
My concern is by the time he gets round to it he won't be able to get on the course of his choice.

Does this sound like a good approach? maybe if I back off he will make his own decision eventually.

But one things for sure both me & my husband work full time and we won't let him sit at home doing nothing and asking us for money everyday.

arsenaltilidie Fri 17-May-13 02:28:59

Reminding him rarely works, actual measures might work such as banning or limiting internet and TV. Take a proactive role on his revision by making a revision timetable he has to stick and marking his past papers to make sure he is actually revising.
Basically don't be too soft with him.
I know it maybe silly but what worked for me younger when I was younger was the promise of money per grade.

However your son sounds like he has self esteem issues. He might benefit from a part time job that puts him in contact with different people.
Also encourage him to join a sport CLUB.
If nothing works, there's always the army.

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