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Positive Parenting(11 Posts)
Lately I've been feeling I have been spending most of my time losing my rag with my four and two year olds. Has anyone got any tips for staying calm and positive? I have decided to try a reward chart for me...
I know it's hard but try to ignore the small stuff. I have 4 DC, oldest now 18 and youngest 8. When they were toddlers I found we were having days of me constantly telling off which is no fun. Also try reading Toddler Taming (can't remember Drs name who wrote it for the moment). He's got lots of good practical ideas and at the very least the book makes you laugh. And remember it will get easier. They have very little common sense at that age.
Thanks for the encouragement! yes my dilemma at the moment is whether or not I need to get strict to "nip it in the bud" when they are younger. But like you said it seems like I am constantly telling them off and having dramas about the tiniest things so I will give ignoring the small stuff ago and seek out toddler taming!
Yep know the feeling!
Does your 4 yr old go preschool?
My now 5yr old and now 3yr old started school and preschool in sept and oh my gosh the difference it made was amazing!
I felt human again and they had an outlet.
Will your 4 yr old be at school in sept too?
Very tickled by your personal reward chart!
Isn't Toddler Taming by Libby Purves? If not, she wrote another book about toddlers with a similar title which will cheer you up.
There weren't 'terrible twos' in my house, but I did feel there were 'terrible fours' for a bit as my older dd needed more in her life than I could offer. Once she went to school it all settled down again.
Just googled it - Toddler Taming is by Dr Christopher Green and available on Amazon.
Thanks I will have a look at those books. I have been recommended French Kids Don't Throw Food too. Yes, my four year old is at pre school and it was over the holidays that her behaviour got worse, now I think about it. I think she is just trying to assert more independence, which I guess is understandable, as she has started answering back and everything is "But..." hopefully just another stage...!?
Hi, As you have mentioned a book about how the French bring up their children, you might be interested in a peek at my blog agreenmouse which is all about listening practice in French (and Spanish) for children ...
I hope that doesn't sound too self-promoting. I'm finding it difficult to work out the right balance in this regard!
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Having had four children this was a big issue for us too, so I understand your struggle! However, now that ours have grown, I can look back and am so thankful that we stuck at our agreed method of loving discipline. It worked for us, as our boys are trouble-free teenages/adults and I say the same to my son for his kids. Parenting is hard work, but brings huge rewards! It only gets easier after you have put some work in- problems don't go away on their own! I have blogged quite a bit on this subject too.
Oh good! I'm so glad your thread hasn't been spoilt! By the way, on the reward front, I'm well-aware it often works, but I haven't used it much with my own dcs. I have tried instead to make them understand the point of doing something - not always quick or easy ...!
I listened to a radio programme years ago in which an exhausted lady said that as her ds got older he demanded bigger and bigger rewards, and that he was still demanding them in his 30s ...! Pretty extreme, but some of what she said about it made sense.
On the other hand, when you mentioned how you rewarded yourself for good behaviour it sounded like such a good idea!!!!
Balance - as always!