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Nothing out there for teen mums

(5 Posts)
bethanyspottiswood Sun 03-Feb-13 14:12:29

Any other teen mummies out there? Any mummies of teen mummies out there? Am I the only one out there who finds the lack of help or anything written about teenage parents, for teenage parents, or by teenage parents hugely frustrating!? England currently has the highest rate of teen pregnancy in Europe, why is there no general information out there for these girls that isn't written by the NHS and isn't desperately patronising? Perhaps if these girls were treated like normal mummies and given the information and help they needed they would then have the tools to help them succeed in life, but they are left wonder they struggle. Knowledge is power and girls like me aren't given either. Any thoughts would be much appreciated! Much love Beth xoxox

MN044 Sun 03-Feb-13 14:25:42

I don't know what information you'd like there to be? At 18 you're an adult, though yes a teenager. I had my dd relatively young at 20 and while I was at university, I would have been mortified to have been given any kind of 'special' treatment or advice. You have a great writing style though. Are you still pregnant? I'm finding it hard to take the stuff you say about giving birth seriously if I'm honest. A lot of it seems a little naive. Saying it's the worst pain ever, but you never cross over into unbearable pain? Erm, nope. Not for a lot of people, and that in itself will make a lot of your readers feel a failure I would imagine. I'm also not so keen on the 'you might like to think about...' style. I do find that a little patronising truth be told. I think I'd far rather read a blog based on your own actual experiences rather than one that's trying to give advice. And maybe when you've actually experienced paretnhood. For now I'd try and market it more as a pregnancy diary type thing, then try and reorganise it perhaps a year down the line. BUT I'm now about 10 years over your intended readership so what do I know. It's hard to know who you're aiming at really, your writing style is very very good, which in itself may intimidate lots of younger readers.

MmeGuillotine Sun 03-Feb-13 14:40:50

I was a teenaged mother (I had my eldest DS just after my nineteenth birthday in my 'baby gap year' before going to university) and agree with MN044 that I would have HATED someone assuming that I didn't know how to eat properly or that exercise was important or that I should give up drinking etc. I'd have been incensed by that actually and felt extremely patronised.

I would, however, have really enjoyed reading about the experiences of other teenaged mothers. I was one of only two in my sixth form so felt a tad lonely when it was all going on.

I find the post about pain in childbirth quite interesting though - my labour at nineteen lasted eight hours, while the two labours in my thirties have gone down on official record as lasting under 15 minutes each. ;)

MN044 Sun 03-Feb-13 14:46:51

I've had another little look actually and see that you do have a two year old. I'd focus less on the actual pregnancy. I think it's a classic view of teenagers actually, looking at the short term. I know a lot of the mothers I know who were younger when they had their first found it very very hard to thnk beyond the whole 'cute! Maternity clothes!Which pram shall I buy?' stage and actually think about the realities of life with a baby. Your entire blog is very 'bump' focussed when you've actually got 2 years worth of parenting behind you. I'd be fa rmore interested in reading a truthful account of parenthood, teenage or otherwise. Also I agree with pp, my first labour was 15 hours of induced agony and I had no idea what was going on. I educated myself the next 2 times and had labours of 3 and a half hours, and 40 minutes. That last one was a shock I can tell you. But I was 28 and my body knew what it was doing. No need to put down one set of parents in an effort to say birth can be ok.

bethanyspottiswood Sun 03-Feb-13 16:49:50

Thank you very much for your feed back! And compliments on my style, that is very much appreciated. Yeah my son is now 2, I started writing all this when I was pregnant as a diary type of thing, trying to document the things I had learned and am now going back over what i wrote then and typing it all up. so it goes from the moment i found ouat, through pregnancy, birth and on up to now. obviously I must have been very innocent as I had no idea about what not to eat ect, and the very last thing I would ever want to be is patronising! If I am coming across that way thnk you for pointing it out. I would also hate to think that I'm come across as putting down other mothers. Not at all! But it is a fact young body are, as a general,better at certain things, a first time labour for example. Although of course second pregnancys, are often much quicker then the first no matter what age you are as your body 'knows what it's doing' as it were. That's what my midwife caused me to believe anyway. Many thanks agin, love and luck for the fuchure, Beth xoxox

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