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Things Girls Should Know - what are your thoughts?

(250 Posts)
KateMumsnet (MNHQ) Wed 30-Jan-13 11:10:42

Last week, author and Mumsnet Blogger Kate Figes appeared on Woman's Hour with Steve Biddulph, author of the recently published Raising Girls.

The programme sparked plenty of discussion, and inspired a couple of interesting posts from Kate, who often writes about being the mother of teenage girls. The first (Things Girls Should Know About Bodies) - is here, and yesterday's post (Things Girls Should Know About Boys) is here.

It got us thinking here about things we'd like our daughters to know when they're older - and we thought we'd throw the discussion open to you. So, what are your own Things That Girls Should Know? Share your thoughts (and URLs if you blog) here.

Back2Two Wed 30-Jan-13 19:29:00

Men are after one thing from 13 to 103. Most of them will say and do anything to get it.

How insulting. Is this what we are teaching girls? Then they will expect nothing better and have no respect for men.

Really? All men? The male friends that I have and my husband must be from a different planet than the men referred to on here. Lucky me. I respect my husband and he has never, ever been "after one thing". He has a brain as well as a penis.

EnjoyResponsibly Wed 30-Jan-13 19:31:21

<Proffers DH a seat on the bench next to Backs DH>

Back2Two Wed 30-Jan-13 19:31:21

feminsite i have explained my feelings about that statement. See my reaction to "Men are after one thing from 13 to 103. Most of them will say and do anything to get it." for more explanation of this general trend to simply blame boys and teach girls that they are innocent victims from the off.

Dangerous stuff

MoonLighter Wed 30-Jan-13 19:36:17

Backtotwo - but how will parents teach boys and girls to respect eachother if the message appears to be boys=bad? How will a girl grow up to respect a man with that sort of attitude?

MoonLighter Wed 30-Jan-13 19:38:18

Sorry backtotwo - i think i read your post wrong. The question is still out there for anyone who wants to answer it?

feministefatale Wed 30-Jan-13 19:40:18

i agree regarding your other quotes but absolutely think you have got it totally wrong regarding abigails as it was clear what she was commenting on.

marriedinwhite Wed 30-Jan-13 19:41:39

That their mother's love is unconditional (and their father's)
That even though I might disagree with her, I will always support her
That life is easier with a plan and mistakes avoided
That potential should be maximised
Ambitions need to be realistic
If you can't take the money out of the bank to pay for it you can't afford it
Financial independence is vital
You can always come home; whatever has happened, whatever you have done, there will always be a home for you here and we will do our best to keep you safe.
If a man hits you once he will do it again.
There is nothing wrong with making the best of yourself
It is better to wear flat shoes and have feet respectable enough for flip flops at 50 than to suffer agonies as a 20 year old and ruin you feet

Not far different from what I would tell our son.

Back2Two Wed 30-Jan-13 19:42:07

That's exactly what I said was wrong moon ....I said :

I think it was because that statment seemed to just perpetuate the (generalised) feeling that boys=bad and nasty and girls=sweet and innocent and need protecting from boys.

I'm saying that the above generalisations are wrong. Of course we shouldn't teach that boys are bad. We should aim to teach both genders self respect, esteem and reliance without blame on the other gender. And teach them to respect, trust and know when to rely on any other human being regardless of gender.

MoonLighter Wed 30-Jan-13 19:42:31

feministefatale - do you respect men?

Back2Two Wed 30-Jan-13 19:43:01

That is self respect, self esteem and self reliance...

IfNotNowThenWhen Wed 30-Jan-13 19:44:04

yy married. I keep telling ds that my red stilletoes will ruin his feet!

AbigailAdams Wed 30-Jan-13 19:44:27

Yes to what feministfatale said.

MoonLighter Wed 30-Jan-13 19:45:16

Ok Back2Two, i think i got mixed up. That makes sense smile

feministefatale Wed 30-Jan-13 19:45:50

I respect individuals based on their own merits. I don't respect groups that became a group based on their being born. It's like saying do I respect white people, or the Spanish.

Can I ask which comment of mine gave you the impression I don't respect men? You seem to be getting confused about posters now.

AbigailAdams Wed 30-Jan-13 19:46:33

I also agree with you on the other examples you have given.

AbigailAdams Wed 30-Jan-13 19:47:16

That was to Back2Two.

Springdiva Wed 30-Jan-13 19:49:08

Getting DD interested in a sport is a good idea.
Any sport probably. There she might learn team work and shared effort and that getting sweaty and untidy is irrelevant (especially if you win). She might also get fit and meet new people, it's a great ice breaker if you move away to a new area or university.

feministefatale Wed 30-Jan-13 19:50:36

It is women who believe a man can't control himself because a woman wears a short skirt or that believe men won't respect a woman for enjoying having sex with him on the first date that don't respect men.

MoonLighter Wed 30-Jan-13 19:53:43

I think i would say:

Save. If you really want something it is so much more rewarding when you have saved up to buy it and avoid instant gratification.

Mannors and respect are very important. You can get far in life with basic mannors.

Respect boys/men, they are your equal. You are not better than them and they are not better than you.

Don't expect anything for nothing.

Choose the path you want to take in life, not the path that is expected of you.

People relationships are more important than material goods. Aim to form good relationships to help make you happy, not material goods.

feministefatale Wed 30-Jan-13 19:55:22

I hope to get dd in to sport too sprin, girls who do sports are less likely to suffer from eating disorders and have more self esteem

Back2Two Wed 30-Jan-13 20:06:24

Ok,yes is I can see that about abigails comment. Perhaps I was analysing it too much. And it is sad yes.

I am sincerely hoping that the parents of boys are not just bad-mouthing girls to them as part of the growing up advice they are providing them with.

MoonLighter Wed 30-Jan-13 20:11:12

I can safely say that as a parent of both genders i will be bringing them up to respect eachother and certainly won't be bad mouthing boys to girls or vice verca. Quite often if someone is labeled as something long enough, they start turning into the label.

sneezecakesmum Wed 30-Jan-13 20:31:25

Boys/men say they love you just for sex. Sad but true and the sooner its learned the sooner the bullshit radar will kick in grin

Liked yours marriedinwhite especially ...

Your mother's love is unconditional, and
You can always come home, whatever has happened

Love goes a long way IMHO smile

marriedinwhite Wed 30-Jan-13 20:47:03

Indeed smile

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