Behaviour problems in nursery

[stephanie87]

My son turned three in September and started nursery late September after all the other children had settled in. I've been called in twice about him not listening to the teacher which shocks me as he is a good child at home. The teacher is questioning my parenting- asking me if he has to many sweets at home (I don't give him sweets or fizzy pop). His speech is good but he doesn't want to talk about his day in nursery when I ask him, he says he don't like going. I'm really shocked I have this problem and I don't know how to handle it?

[BonzoDooDah]

I think at 3 they just don't listen. My DS is 3 but has been at nursery for a couple of years now and doesn't listen to a thing I say!! He is socialised to the way things work there but if he had just joined he would be running round not doing as he is told. It's only because he has been "trained" into behaving and socialised with teh other children behaving too.

3 is still very young. I'd not worry at all. They should be playing and messing about.
My DS changed nursery rooms when he was 3 and kicked off quite a bit at the change. It was a shock to him and he cried when I dropped him off. now though - well barely a month later he skipped off happily and loves it. But still he and his siter (5) won't tell me a thing about what they did all day. it seems to be confidential "need-to-know" stuff that I am definietely NOT included in. No worries - they talk happily at other times about things they do. And sometimes the change-over from nursery to home was a bit challenging as much as the changing to nursery from home in the morning. the last thing they wanted was to talk about it.

maybe try talking about it later when playing so it is not so immediately close to the event? Playing with their toys lying on the floor, relaxed. Can sort of role play what they did? Then you can maybe investigate what it is they don't like. It may just be "mummy isn't there" ... but they'll get used to that.
If you think it is because the nursery staff are overly strict then maybe you could ask to stay and play one day and sit at the side and watch what he is doing and how he is playing - then you can judge for yourself?

Your DS has only been there a little over a month and it will have been a massive change to him. So I wouldn't worry unless his behaviour is changing at home and you are worried about that.

[stephanie87]

Thank you for you reply its made me feel alot better. The teacher have told me I need to reinforce discipline at home? I use the naughty step an count to three which works well for me but I don't know how to discipline him for his behaviour in school? Any suggestions?

[BonzoDooDah]

I don't honestly know how you can or what they are expecting of you!
How can you discipline a child for when you are not there? That's their job isn't it?
All you can say is "be a good boy and do what teacher says" and make sure he's doing all the right things socially at home - but you'd be doing that anyway ...
Odd nursery! If you're confused -ask to speak to the nursery head and get them to explain what they think is wrong - odd people.
And don't worry!