Aspergers and lying: when is a lie not a lie?

(10 Posts)
peekyboo Wed 24-Oct-12 15:58:13

Hmm, that's an interesting point - I guess I could bring together the main dos and don'ts from my blogs and have a list. I was going to do a list as an emergency reference for an aspie Christmas!

I think you may find eye-rolling isn't as much an issue as the tone of voice or sighing. Usually, the aspie isn't making eye content; they're up in the stratosphere or focussed within.

I've been asked by ds, quite innocently, what is wrong when I eye roll, as he often has no idea he' driving me potty and thinks I'm upset about something! (goes off to breathe in a brown paper bag)

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gussiegrips Wed 24-Oct-12 14:57:32

Do you know what'd be really helpful, Peeky? See from an NT's POV in a marriage with an undiagnosed DH(but done all the AQ tests and online, and finally agreed that we see the world in different ways to each other)...

If I could have a list of "do's and don'ts" from an Aspie's POV, it'd be life changing. DH is not able to articulate what he needs - indeed, he says he has "no needs"

There's loads and loads of literature about AS - but I've not found anything for ME. You know, something that doesn't criticise his perspective on the world - there are lots of strengths as well as difficulties; and also points out the things that I could do to make things easier for him?, eye rolling. Becauase that does drive him nuts, and whether he recognises it or not, he needs me to drop it.

Going to mull this over and make it coherent. Just going on school run.

Hing oan.

peekyboo Wed 24-Oct-12 11:07:22

Thanks pebbles!

gussiegrips, the shameful reason I know about the eye rolling is that my son is aspie too and even though I know where he's coming from, my eyes still roll!! But because I have little self-awareness, I always get caught too!

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pebbles77 Wed 24-Oct-12 11:02:04

Thanks for sharing this with us Peeky - really helpful. Please keep writing x

gussiegrips Wed 24-Oct-12 11:01:54

Eye rolling?



<have you been in my house? that's a bit spooky and woo, otherwise...or am I just a boring and predictable NT? I'll stick with wow, you're amazeballs, kai?>

peekyboo Wed 24-Oct-12 10:56:43

That's fine, thanks. The more people that see it, the more help it might be to people.

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DameMargotFountain Wed 24-Oct-12 10:47:41

that makes so much sense, OP!

thank you for writing that, i'm going to share it in our girls support network if that's ok?


peekyboo Wed 24-Oct-12 10:43:20

And eye-rolling? Have you got that under control too ;)
Thanks for the kind comments, I hope it helps.

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gussiegrips Wed 24-Oct-12 10:38:40

Thanks, peeky.

My DH is on the spectrum, this post is incredibly helpful - we muddle along with continual misunderstandings.

Your blog is really helping me to understand him and his funny little ways. I'm doing a whole lot less sighing!

peekyboo Wed 24-Oct-12 10:28:24

This one is quite a light-hearted post, despite being very close to my heart. The number of times I've been called a liar when I'm telling the truth!!
I decided to keep it lighter as I think it applies a lot to people with children and teens who are aspie, so I wanted to make it understandable for their situation too.


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