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Due April 2009: Episode 21 - RLT officials have stern words with the April mums after stocks plummet!!

(1021 Posts)
PuzzleRocks Tue 17-Mar-09 11:49:12

Thanks to Nutty for all the thread suggestions including this one. I hope no one minds but I picked this one in honour of the brilliant race commentary we had from Nuts and Frekkles the other night. Hopefully we will get some more.

OP’s posts: |
PuzzleRocks Tue 17-Mar-09 12:43:41

PREVIOUSLY ON APRIL MUMS....

Apart from plenty of what MrConker calls hixting..

Surprise flexed her consumer muscle and did a bit of downstairs baking at Boff's instruction.

The Smutcat returned home after a lengthy alcopops bender.

Mathsmummy's domestic skills were called into question with a surprising fecal discovery.

It would seem that most people have either lived in, studied in, partied n, or shagged someone from Birmingham.

We briefly stopped talking about phallic furniture and fluffy arses to discuss breastfeeding and getting medicine into toddlers.

Mumble's son was successful at swimming. Boff's son was less so at running away.

Bleu denied being Martha Stewart (again).

Our DH's were quizzed about their balls. Some hussies April Mums admitted their DH has been known to use the tradesmens entrance.

OP’s posts: |
PuzzleRocks Tue 17-Mar-09 12:49:11

FAO: Chickenbalti Bumpalump pintofstella Bubbaluv Woody2shoes Sarahmum

NUTTY'S BUDDY SYSTEM DETAILS!!

right GIRLIES listen up

if you would like to be included in the birth/labour buddy system please e-mail me at

crimpntaff@blueyonder.co.uk

please include in the email :-

a contact number (pref mobile for texting)
email that you want to use so i can send you your buddy details (if not the one you're sending from)
your MN name (incase i get confused, v possible)
your due date (as above)

i will sort out groups after i get your info and put regulars with regulars and straglers with stragglers if thats ok?

do give me a lil leeway on getting back to you, i will be as quick as humanly possible any problems once info has been swapped then feel free to mail me

love n kisses ME

OP’s posts: |
SpringySunshine Tue 17-Mar-09 12:49:24

Excellent summary grin

All that in the space of one thread... We are quite impressive grin

PuzzleRocks Tue 17-Mar-09 12:56:25

The baby list...
12 Feb: skiingone: MARIANNA, 4lb 4oz
20 Feb: Glaskham: RUBY MARIE, 4lb 3oz
04 Mar: Barbarella: ESTELLA, ROSANNA, OTIS
05 Mar: Kazkiss: ISABELLE FLORENCE 4lb 6oz & OLIVER THOMAS 3lb 7oz

Still yet to hatch...
27 Mar : WhatFreshHell, DS 2.4 born on Easter Sunday
30 Mar : BabyBolat: 1st timer
01 Apr : Rachelinscotland: DD 3 years, and DS 2 years in March
01 Apr : Juwesm: 1st timer
01 Apr : Chickenbalti: DS 4 years DD 17 months
02 Apr : BoffinMum: BOY! dd(21) ds(10) ds(7)
02 Apr : MathsMummy27: GIRL! DD 3 years
03 Apr : purlease: 1 m/c, 1 DD 3 years
03 Apr : Kalikaroo: SURPRISE! (28), 1st timer, lives in Scandinavia (but too shy to say where!)
04 Apr : Bleuravin
04 Apr : Bumpalump
04 Apr : babypringle: 1 DS 2yrs 1 month
06 Apr : ToastnHoney: first timer
06 Apr : Mummyontherun: DD 22 months
06 Apr : pintofstella: DS 5.7
08 Apr : LuLuBai: 1 DD born 02 Apr 07
09 Apr : Oddeyes (30): GIRL! DS 17 mths, 1 mc. London
09 Apr : Minush
10 Apr : hopeful1
10 Apr : mrsfossil: 1 DS 6.5
11 Apr : Bubbaluv: 1 DS 1yo
11 Apr : SpringySunshine: BOY! 1st timer.
12 Apr : Brettgirl, 1st timer
12 Apr : Mumblemumhome4lunch (37, Swindon): DS will be 4 on 11th April, DD 2yrs and 1month
13 Apr : Dungungirl(30): BOY! 1 m/c, DS 4 years
14 Apr : AuldAlliance: DS3.8 BOY!
14 Apr : Woody2shoes: Second DS
15 Apr : claireykitten: GIRL! DS 12 months
15 Apr : electra
15 Apr : Sarahmum: DS 10yrs
16 Apr : tristaleejac(25): 1 ds, 3 years
17 Apr : Surprisenumber3(32): DS1 9 DSS 9 DS2 5 GIRL!
18 Apr : gingersarah: 1st baby
18 Apr : Lauren61
18 Apr : salbysea: (28) 1st timer
19 Apr : Kittycatisgettingfat (29) 1st timer
21 Apr : B52s: DS will be 2 and a quarter
21 Apr : Staryeyed
21 Apr : Schulte
22 Apr : PuzzleRocks: DD 22mths GIRL!
22 Apr : soon2befamilyof4 DD 13 months.
23 Apr : FatandFedup DC3
24 Apr : conkertree (27): DS 17 months
24 Apr : Bronze (Gawain) - 4th DC
24 Apr : Frekkles
25 Apr : Swaliswan: DD 17 months
27 Apr : Bicnod
27 Apr : Carameli
27 Apr : ilovesummer 3rd dc
27 Apr : purplemonkeydishwasher DS 3yo
30 Apr : Nutty Taff (27) DD nearly 5 GIRL!

OP’s posts: |
frekkles Tue 17-Mar-09 12:57:03

So it's a beautiful day down here at thread 21 as we watch the hormonal racers continue their fascinating preparations. We're firmly on the edge of our seats, wondering which one will first break from the safety of the harras and make a break for postnatal pastures.

The state of play today amongst the early favourites has seasoned expert Boffin Mum slightly out in front on 2 -1 . She's shown us the colour of her plug in recent days and today is exhibiting bicarb waving nesting tendancies. She's surely on fine form. In contrast, Baby Bolat in her first race blatantly doesn't have her mind on the right job, so is a tempting opportunity for the pundit amongst you, with her odds widened to 33-1.

In other news, midfield thoroughbreds Kittycatisgetting fat and Auld Alliance have been observed trying to spook the rest of the racers with their neat bumps and shiny hair. We've seen just how distracting from the race an outbreak of bump envy in the ranks can be, with half the starting line up leaving to rush primark at the eleventh hour in february 2005. Let's hope that we won't get a re run of that debacle this time...

So nutty, what are your thoughts on the breaking story of Springysunshine's continued horizontal workouts? Is this a piece of genius from the Brummie mare in nobbling her competition, or simply the actions of a cock hungry strumpet with a wide on for danger? wink

Juwesm Tue 17-Mar-09 12:58:52

Have I won the old thread? Or is someone going to sneak on....?

SmuttyNuttyTaff Tue 17-Mar-09 12:59:05

For Boffin

do you mean stripe sort of ear to ear or from forhead to nape?

with half head i'm guessing its going to be ear to ear (dependant on foiling technique) but yes the only way to avoid it really is getting a full head or osking for your hairdresser to do foils f/head to nape in a t-section style whilst doing the half head. i would always say to clients if you wear your hair up alot then go for a full head or half head with a few random packets at the back to avoid the half head stripe. Also you can have the hair weaved/ sliced dependant on which you have can determine stripeyness. i would go for weaved highlights if you want something more natural

there are hair magazines such as the aptly named Hair, Hair Now, Styles etc for boys/mens styles but they are usually at the back and only cover about 5 pages at most so look to the back of the magazine prior to purchase so you can look over them with your boys. though just google hairstyles for boys and there are loads

SpringySunshine Tue 17-Mar-09 13:01:57

BB 'doesn't have her mind on the right job'? What kind of job is her mind on, then? shockwink

In seriousness, I can't believe she's still working - or that anyone is, for that matter. My brain's not good for anything at this point.

& as for me, it's not the competition I'm interested in nobbling wink That may, of course, be because I'm a cock hungry strumpet grin

I think you've missed your calling in life, frekkles - you're far too good at this commentating lark grin

Juwesm Tue 17-Mar-09 13:02:06

"Cock hungry strumpet" - if I ever have a racehorse, or a boat, or anything requiring a name, this shall be it!!!!!!

Juwesm Tue 17-Mar-09 13:02:56

Except, possibly, the LO!!

BoffinMum Tue 17-Mar-09 13:03:32

VG summary Puzzle and commentary Frekkles grin

Ta for advice Nutty, yes, it's ear to ear. What do you think about Lulu's advice to get lots of fine highlights done, with a few lowlights to reduce the impact of the stripe??

Also what is weaving??

SpringySunshine Tue 17-Mar-09 13:03:33

I was just about to ask about the baby grin

PuzzleRocks Tue 17-Mar-09 13:04:15

Ju - Get a cat. I'd love to hear you calling it in at night. grin

OP’s posts: |
Juwesm Tue 17-Mar-09 13:04:45

FIL has a boat called Calliope - perhaps I can persuade him to change it? wink

purplemonkeydishwasher Tue 17-Mar-09 13:05:01

we're back! the little cafe we go to makes the BEST scones in the world! thoroughly enjoyed that!

i've given up trying to catch up with you lot!

had a funny day yesterday. ate my usual bowl of porridge while i caught up with the thread, then about half an hour later was very ill. felt a bit ropey all day but not so bad as that. took the boy swimming with a friend and had a coffee and scone after, felt ok. ate dinner no problem but a couple of hours later was ill again. though not as much. i didn't eat a whole lot at dinner, peice of fish, a few chips and some salad. but i guess there really isn't very much room in there. unfortunately something inside me hasn't figured that out yeat because I am still hungry all the bloody time!!!

feel ok so far today, but had a smaller breakfast so i think that helped. shame too because the porridge was helping my poo issues. but i just don't think i could face it today.

is there any sexual practice that we haven't discussed yet? bum love. my goodness. not been all the way but have played around at the entrance and my god!!
(have i mentioned taht i can never EVER meet any of you in person?! blush)

on a completely different note (really it's not related though you and your dirty minds will probably take it that way!) went and bought a mattress protector. BOFFIN did you get that one from white company? i ended up at Dreams bed store (there's one down the road from us) and got one that doesn't make crinkly noises! it's terry and something plasticy. the quilted one was LOUD. and only 37 for a superking so i thought that was pretty good.

SpringySunshine Tue 17-Mar-09 13:08:15

purple, you've reminded me - where do you all buy your sheets from? I only want white king-sized sheets - ours are cheap & have gone all bobbly & I want some nicer ones that won't do that. Nothing super-fancy, though - especially as there'll be breastfeeding & so on happening on them in the near future.

Also, what kind of 'my god' was that, purple? grin & where are our scones? shock

frekkles Tue 17-Mar-09 13:09:07

ju, not even for it's middle name? awwwwwwwwww killjoy!

CockHungryStrumpet Tue 17-Mar-09 13:09:17

Oy! Juwesm! I'll have you know that name is copyright of ME!!! I'll sue you airbrushed arse off you if you use it!

SmuttyNuttyTaff Tue 17-Mar-09 13:10:15

Fab round up there from Puzzle!!

Frekkles - i would definately say that there is an element of cock hungry strumpet within all these fine fillys grin but i do think MissSunshine may be trying to nose her way into the lead!! cheeky mare grin

BB & WFH seemed to have cooled their heels somewhat, which is obviously dissapointing for the fans who were looking forward to a good hard race. Still no word from Babypringle Frekkles do you think she may have gone post natal on us already???

my money is still on Boffin & Mathsmummy at this point but who can tel how these things will go!! Very edge of the seat stuff these april dramas!!

SpringySunshine Tue 17-Mar-09 13:11:09

Now that's a name that really does belong on our threads grin

Juwesm Tue 17-Mar-09 13:13:41

John Lewis is good for sheets, esp when the sales are on!

SmuttyNuttyTaff Tue 17-Mar-09 13:14:25

Boffin - basically weaving is the same as what lulu is suggesting but without the extra low lights/ colour. you take a slice of hair then weave the comb through leaving gaps then you have about 10 lil strands of hair which you colour then the other 10 that you have weaved out you dont its much more subtle and leaves you stripe free smile

Juwesm Tue 17-Mar-09 13:16:07

Right, have uploaded bump picture. I don't always look quite so glum and funereal, honest - I was concentrating!

purplemonkeydishwasher Tue 17-Mar-09 13:16:18

springy - grin it was a good one. a very very very very good one....<wishes DH were home....>

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