anyone pregnant and over 40?

[teejay]

There must be a few of us?

[FirstAtForty]

hi - bumping for you

congrats! I'm not pregnant but did conceive and have my first baby at forty (last year)

[diplodocus]

Yep - I'll be 43 when I have my second. Had my first DD at 41!

[madness]

42 when dc3 born

[purplepants]

expecting dc3 in Nov - I'm 40
when are you due?

[diplodocus]

I'm due October 30th (but if anything like DD will mosey out some time in mid November).

[sazzybee]

I've just had my first baby at 42 so I can still remember what it's like

[RGPargy]

I'm 39, so almost there. Will still be 39 when i have the baby tho

[teejay]

i was beginning to wonder if there were any of us!
I had ds1 at 40 and am now due feb08 when I will be 44- and so far will be the oldest.
What do you reckon the pros and cons are?

[mozhe]

I'm 44...and expect DC6 in october ! No disadvantages except the health related ones,ie; increased risk of mc/birth abnormalities...once you've weathered that, it's plain sailing !!

[diplodocus]

Main disadvantage for me is that my parents are now dead and DHs parents are quite elderly - I feel my DC will miss out on this. On the positive side we're more financially stable. I also think I'm lucky that where I live new mums in their 40s are two a penny so I don't feel that old or unusual, and no-ones ever asked me yet if I'm DD's granny!

[teejay]

so mzzhe is the oldest so far!
I think the worry about m/c and scans is the hardest, and people are too polite to remark about your lovely grandchildren, although we shouldnt be offended we are old enough to be grandmas!
I do worry about having stoppy teenagers when 60 tho' - just glad they say 60 is the new 40. Maybe we are the reason!!

[unicorn]

Yep, time to admit it!
I will be 43 (arghhhhhh) when number 3 arrives.

[Desiderata]

I was 39 when I had mine, so almost there!

I do, teejay, occasionally worry about the age gap, having a teenager in my late 50's, etc., but then I always manage to settle on a more positive slant. It will force all of us to keep younger for longer!

[purplepants]

Later babies definately keep you younger IMO. There will be a 19 year gap between my DC1 and DC3. The main difference I've noticed is that I find the tiredness more difficult to cope with.

[Caroline1852]

I am 43 and expecting my fourth child in a few weeks. I was also over 40 when I had my daughter, now 18 months. My sons are 15 and 11.

[Anna8888]

Caroline - so you had two with husband no 1 and two with husband no 2?

I'm nearly 41 trying for baby no 2 with my partner, who already has two sons from his first marriage. I had a miscarriage earlier this year after getting pregnant straight after coming off the pill... and since, nothing... and my partner is going a bit cold on the second baby lark, says four is too many and too restrictive... What do you think? How does 2+2 seem to you?

[horace]

I'm forty and expecting no3 in october. DS will be 4 and DD almost 2. HOw does everyone feel about being "older mums"?

[Caroline1852]

Anna8888 - sorry to hear about your m/c. Yes two from previous husband, 15 and 11 and then daughter (18 months) and a new baby (boy!) due in a few weeks. I do not see it as 2 plus 2 (or currently 2 plus 1) I suspect because we all live together as one big family. Do your partner's children live with his ex wife? It works well here, but partner is very very good and attentive with older sons and baby daughter gets masses of attention from everyone. I feel very lucky.

[Caroline1852]

Anna8888 - how old is your child?

[Anna8888]

Caroline - my stepsons are 12 and nearly 10, my daughter is 2.7. My stepsons spend about half the time with us over the year, but less in term time and more in the holidays. All the children adore one another. My partner is a very attentive father to all his children and we work quite hard at making sure they are all getting lots of opportunities, attention etc. He's a bit worried that he'll be spreading himself too thinly if we have another baby - he's not worried about our daughter and any other child of ours, but much more about his sons, whose mother is not very attentive... and sometimes downright neglectful.

[teejay]

I'm really pleased to see so many of us oldies-
stats are
teejay 44 -ds 3yrs 10mths, due in feb 08
first at forty 41 - 1yr old
diplodocus 42 -1yr old and due oct 07
madness 42 3 kids
purple pants 40 2 kids due nov 07
sazzybee 42 new baby
RGPargy 39 due 07
mozhe 44 due Nov 07
avaitrix 45 new baby?
unicorn 43 due 08
desiderata 39 new baby
caroline1852 43, ds 15, ds11,dd 18mths due June 07
anna888 41 ss 12, ss10, dd 2.7 one child due
horace 40 ds 4 dd 2 due oct 07
12 plus two honorary 40's at 39.

apologies if I got any wrong

Who said anything about dropping fertility after 40!
I've just found out that the nuchal scan costs 180 quid this time round - 4 years ago I only paid 90!

[Caroline1852]

Anna8888 - Well it's very good that they all get on so well and I'm sure it helps that they spend lots of time with you as one family. A lot of children resent their father's new life, their new partner/wife, and their new children and sometimes it is easy to see why. I understand your partner's point about the spreading too thin thing, but that is true with any subsequent child is it not? I think the spreading too thin argument is more than compensated for by the enjoyment they get from one another both as little ones and later in life. I have three sisters and we always thought people from neat little families were funny specimens. I am convinced coming from a big family helps you hone your social skills - you learn the art of conversation very quickly, you learn to speak up for yourself, you learn that you don't always come first (or even second necessarily), you understand familial relationships better, you are probably more accomodating, you learn to do things for the common good (essential later on when you marry/cohabit) etc etc. Also your partner has three children and you only have one (although I am sure you love your stepsons enormously). I was very conscious of this (my partner has no previous children) fact in my decision to have another child. Having said all this, I will be glad to no longer be pregnant in a few weeks time!

[Anna8888]

Caroline - thanks, all your arguments are very good ones and I will see how I can weave them into the conversation .

I hate pregnancy, though...