Have i got post natal depression?

[themumma]

I am a mother of three with a baby of 5 months, so life is pretty stressful at the moment but up untill now i feel i've been coping fine but for the past couple of weeks all i seem to be doing is crying i keep locking myself in the loo so the kids wont see me, any thing seems to trigger this off and even when i feel happy there still seems to be a feeling that i may break down in tears at any moment. when i was pregnant i felt miserable and sad all the time but didnt say anything to anyone because i thought it was just hormones it wasnt untill after i had baby and felt fine again that i realised how low i was, i remember after having baby my mum making a comment about me having my sense of humour back! I didnt even know you could get prenatal depression so i never asked the midwife for advise.
Im not sure i have postnatal depression because my babys 5 months now i always assumed this was something you got strait after baby was born, i feel abit embarrased to ask anyone and i dont like being fussed over so havent mentioned this to my mum I did however ask BF what he thought and he wasnt very helpful infact he made me feel really silly for even thinking it.

[satinshoes]

you can get it a few months after baby. i got at 4 months. talk to your hv.

[Marina]

Definitely speak to your HV, or direct to your GP if you prefer. As satinshoes says, it can kick in months after your baby is born. Sorry your bf isn't helping but I would confide in your mum if you can. You deserve some support.

[themumma]

how did you know you had it? i dont want to seem to be over reacting.

[satinshoes]

felt miserable, didnt want to go out - didnt feel any joy.

did one of those hv tests which give you are mark out of 10 or 20 or something and scored low.

plus dh told me.

[CaptainCaveman]

Please do speak to your hv, pnd and antenatal depression are so common but can be very devastating.
I suffered awfully from and but felt so much better after ds arrived. However, don't know that i would've felt so good without the fabulous support from my midwives, gp and hv (and the motherhood and mental health team).

Not fantastic advice to google pnd but websites like the royal college of psychiatrists have fab info. Try www.rcpsych.org.uk

good luck! Let us know how you get on?

[Marina]

I never did, but dd's godmother did, and it was the constant breaking down in tears that made her seek help. She hid it from everyone and put on a superb coping front. Don't do that, get help now.

[themumma]

although bf is concerned about me crying alot i think he thinks im just being silly and i should pull myself together. he doesnt know much about depression.
i dont remember feeling this low with my other two babys. I went away at the weekend for a girlie break without kids and i really missed the children and looked forward to going home but as soon as i got home but after an hour i felt really miserable and well..... empty. i sat upstairs and sobbed for ages when i should have been enjoying seeing the children .

[luciemule]

I cried most days for almost 9 months and the pnd lasted for almost 2 years. I also believe I had pre-natal depression from about 6 months onwards. The days, even when it was sunny, seemed grey and I couldn't even be bothered to put the washing on, let alone do any other housework. I didn't dislike my DD, once she was born, only resented her for taking my freedom away and being the reason I was unable to cope. Only told DH to start with and he helped as much as he could and we almost split up at one point I got so bad. Talk to your mum and ask her to at least help out with your children so you can have time out on your own to have some you time. It'll take the pressure off a bit and will make a big difference.
Once you've spoken to GP/HV, if they think it is pnd, explain to your BF what they've said and tell him you need his support.
With regards to the Edingburgh Test, I lied on mine so they'd never have known I had pnd if I hadn't gone to the HV 18 months later! Honesty is defo the best policy or they won't be able to help you properly.

[themumma]

Thank you for the advise your all being a real help.
I've not felt any resentment towards baby or the other two children, but its everything else i dont seem to be able to cope with and im normally a strong, laid back person.
what treatment do they normally give?

[satinshoes]

treatment depends on you. could be medication, could be 'get out more', could be 'talk'. see the hv or gp and take it one step at a time.

[luciemule]

I actually managed without any ADs but that was the reason I didn't tell the HV/GP until 18 months, by which time I got through it by talking to a HV for a few weeks. Just talking through my probs and realising it was so common helped me enormously. Once I admittedc something was really wrong, myslef and DH could think of ways of making things easier.
I was just worried about ADs and didn't know enough about them. Now I realise there are so many out there and they can really help as long as you're properly monitiored regularly and brought off them carefully. I should have had them sooner. I'm glad I got through it without them though. You could go along the counselling route first and then if that didn't work, ask your GP about other options.
I really feel for you and hope you get sorted soon so you become happier.

[themumma]

thankyou Luciemule. i think its not knowing alot about depression that worries me, i thought they gave ad's to everybody. I will go see hv asap to talk to her but i cant help feeling embarrased its like if i admit there's a problem im admitting to not being able to cope. I know thats silly but im scarred people close to me will look at me differently like im a crap mum or something! hate people feeling sorry for me!

[luciemule]

I know exactly what you mean and I'm sure as it's your 3rd child, you feel like you should certainly be able to cope. But that's not true. Nobody will think you're crap - pnd is an actual illness and not just a crap mum who can't cope. There are so many people with it I really think more needs to be done to explain it more to those who have pnd and those who don't understand it enough to make less of a taboo. There aren't enough services or imformation available to women before birth either I don't think. If someone had explained exactly how I might feel if I had pnd (and I don't mean the thin pamphlet they dish out in the Bounty Pack) I would have been possibly more able to go and speak to someone sooner. For me - taking about it was the key and once I began doing that, everything seemed clearer and I began to cope better.

[luciemule]

Did you have easy births with your first 2 and a more traumatic with your 3rd?
I was completely shocked that the birth went nothing how I had planned it to and nobody spoke to me about the birth and asked how I felt about it. If they had, I might have been different. Sorry about long posts - I'm waffling away!!!

[themumma]

I had fairly easy births with all three. but we hadnt planned number 3 and it was a total shock, so when i was depressed during pregnancy we both put it down to this.
I think your right i dont think they give us enough advise or tell us enough about the symptoms if they did i would be more sure this is what i have, i kind of keep thinking that im just a bit down and it will pass but it doesnt seeem to be.

[luciemule]

Maybe that's it then - not expecting to have your 3rd. But it doesn't mean that you'll feel like this forever. I think that once you've spoken to somebody about it - you'll feel a whole load better just admitting you're not feeling right and to just know that the way you've been feeling is because of something and not just you being an uncoping mummy.

[themumma]

Thankyou lucie you have been a huge huge help. will definatly go see hv. i always thought that once you mention the word depression out came the AD's!!

[fransmom]

hi themumma hows you sweetheart? i too felt the same as you, my dd is now nearly two and i tried to get thru it myself as well soemtimes i managed it but had to accept that, for me, it wasn't the way i should go. i tried citalopram which made me feel ill - i am not giving tmi here but i think you may guess ! anyway. went back to a diff doc (phone consult) who said to take one every other day which didn't make sense. so i went back to original doc and asked to change dose. she changed the tablets instead and they really suit me. i am feeling loads better and starting to think i can finally see the end of the tunnel. please don't think that if ad's are the way for you that people will judge you; it takes a great deal of strength to admit that you need from help - from whichever source that help may come from, no one will judge you. please talk to your hv if she/he is a decent one and talk about all your options before you make decision. i wish that i had tried fluoxetine before because i feel that i have lost so much of the time to pnd, that i now have to get my head round that one too! seriously tho, please don't leave it as long as i did before gettting the help you need. good luck sweetheart (((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))) fm x

[luciemule]

Hi themumma - have you had chance to go to hv yet?

[mapjbm]

Hello The Mumma, well done for using this forum for expressing how you feel.Post-natal depression is diagnosed up until your baby is 1 yr old.There are anti-depressants you can take even if u r breast feeding. Talking about it does make a huge difference, but u also need to be honest about what help u need right now and not be embarrassed to ask for, or accept it, u will be glad u did. Yr boyfriend will probably not understand so get support from the people that do. U r not going mad, u just need someone to look after u for a change.Good Luck x

[sammylo88]

i have postnatal depression and i have felf depressed since i was 7months pregnant as i was in hospital till i had my little boy who is now 14months and i do not feel any better the doctor has given me medication which i have been talkin for 8months now but it just does not make me feel better im so angry with every one my partner just trys to help me and i scream and shout at him i cant be bothered to do washing cleaning housework i just want to be a good mum for my son but i just cant seem to pull myself together the hv in my area are not very nice so i cant talk to them i am close to breaking point and just feel like up and leaving

[betsypie]

Hi Sammyl088

Please don't give up!

Pre/post natal depression is, as many people have already said, very difficult to live with, but you are not alone. I'm convinced there are many mums out there who are suffering in silence. The good thing is that you are talking about it on this forum.

Have you got 'Home Start' in your area. It is a charity that helps families (Mums in particular)and has helped me enormously. They match you up with one their volunteers who spends time with you on a regular basis - someone to talk to, to go for walks with, to let you have a nap and look after the baby for a while. My volunteer is now a good friend who I see every now and then. She used to visit me for 2 - 3 hours every week and never judged me but was always very supportive. Maybe this could be a real help to you.

I've suffered from depression on and off throughout my adult life and continue to do so. Having a child (a daughter who is now 4) was,at first, quite a difficult time for me. But with Home Start's help plus the RIGHT anti depressants, I was able to feel better in time.

Maybe, you could change doctors and/or try different tablets (the first ones I had were no good). If your Health Visitors aren't helpful maybe try the NCT.

There IS help out there for you/us - keep looking as your mental and physical health are very important for you and your family.