Skip to main content
Skip to main navigation
Skip to talk navigation

Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Saved Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Flip

Get updates on how your baby develops, your body changes, and what you can expect during each week of your pregnancy by signing up to the Mumsnet Pregnancy Newsletters.

Get updates on how your baby develops, your body changes, and what you can expect during each week of your pregnancy by signing up to the Mumsnet Pregnancy Newsletters.

Birth clubs

5 weeks pg and zero sex drive?

17 replies

Lolly34h · 09/03/2017 10:45

Need to ask a question.... has anyone else got no sex drive at the moment or am I the only one? Reason I ask is my dp has said that I haven't been as attentive for the last 2 weeks or so and I'm normally very much attentive? I think he's feeling a little not needed at the moment. I do dtd with him at least 4 times a week so that's something but apparently it's not enough lol. Is it normal to feel like this Im just tired....

OP posts:

Report

NerrSnerr · 09/03/2017 11:00

I don't feel horny at all throughout pregnancy at all. I just feel too sick and rough and now I am in the third trimester everything hurts too much (I am rubbish at pregnancy). If on the very off chance I'm in the mood we'll do it, but my husband accepts it's unlikely to happen very often until a good few months postpartum.

This is our last baby though so he'll cope with a few months of not getting it.

VimFuego101 · 09/03/2017 11:07

I think your partner needs to understand how pregnancy and birth works. If you have any issues during pregnancy you may be put on a sex ban for the entire pregnancy. You won't be able to have sex for 6 weeks after birth (and you may not want to for far longer than that...)

Blossomdeary · 09/03/2017 11:10

Let us clarify this - you are pregnant and are having sex with him four times a week when you do not want to? There is a word for forcing sex on an unwilling participant.

Toddlers need you to be "attentive", not grown men.

Lolly34h · 09/03/2017 11:55

He doesn't force me. He just has a high sex drive and I do too normally it's just that the last few weeks I've not felt like it as often. He's very good to me and hardly moans about it. Just said he feels like I don't like him at the moment lol x

OP posts:

BertrandRussell · 09/03/2017 12:01

"He's very good to me and hardly moans about it. Just said he feels like I don't like him at the moment lol x"

Fuck me, what some women have to put up with!

It's pretty unlikely that you will want to have sex 4 times a week when you are heavily pregnant, OP, and it's considered sensible not to have sex for 6 weeks after the birth, even if you feel like it. And you might well not feel like It for longer than that, particularly if you are breast feeding. How do you think he'll feel about that?

NerrSnerr · 09/03/2017 12:10

He shouldn't moan about it at all. High sex drive or not. You are growing a baby- he has to accept he may need to go weeks or even months without sex.

minipie · 09/03/2017 12:12

At 5 weeks pregnant you're probably feeling pretty knackered and ill.

Presumably when you've been knackered or ill in the past he hasn't expected you to be "attentive"?

Explain to him that this is the same as those times. (And it is likely to be the same for large portions of your pregnancy, and probably most of the newborn period, if not longer).

Lolly34h · 09/03/2017 12:26

I have he's understood now I think. I jut said that Im tired and that I love him and that it will change once I've stopped feeling constantly sick. It's cap cause it's not like I don't want to I just don't have the energy. I also have a 12 yr old and a 14 year old and his 3 year old son lives with us for more than half the week also. So it's pretty tiring looking after the kids and the house and all sorts. I look after my disabled mom too. He gets it just wondered if it was normal to feel like this is all.

OP posts:

BertrandRussell · 09/03/2017 15:02

lolly- so many red flags in so few words...... do please think very carefully about what's going on here.

Lolly34h · 09/03/2017 15:36

He's not a sex pest he's the love ov my life! Your making out like I'm in an abusive relationship

OP posts:

BertrandRussell · 09/03/2017 15:46

Lolly, you'pregnant. You're feeling sick and tired. You have a lot else on. You have sex 4 times a week and he "hardly moans at you" but thinks you're not "being attentive"?

Lolly34h · 09/03/2017 15:53

It's not how it's sounded. Youve twisted my words

OP posts:

Redyellowpinkblue · 09/03/2017 15:59

OP I think the choice of words you used 'being attentive' kind of suggests you are party to sex or feel obliged to do it/is a chore rather than being a willing partner. You probably don't mean it that way, but it comes across a little like that with the choice of phrase.

I'm 28 weeks pregnant with my second and once again sex is off the menu as I've been poorly virtually constantly. I can count on one hand how many times we've had sex. DH gets his usual urges of course but shrugs it off, doesn't pressurise me or make me feel bad. Doesn't beg or ask twice, he totally gets that growing a baby is really hard work and makes women feel pretty lousy a lot of the time! I do miss the intimacy but I'm huge and it's painful so I know I wouldn't enjoy it and put myself through it just to 'be attentive'.

As long as your DH doesn't make you feel guilty for not being up for it?

Lolly34h · 09/03/2017 18:14

He doesn't I don't feel guilty. Just wondered if other people felt the same way u know not in the mood? He makes me feel beautiful all the time. Compliments me and helps with chores and stuff. He really is perfect.

OP posts:

Luna4689 · 15/03/2017 00:18

I'm the same. No libido whatsoever! My partner doesn't moan, but says he misses it and missss the connection but he knows that when I'm ready then I'm ready! I'm 9wks so hopefully it will pass soon lol. I normally have a high sex drive but not feeling it!
DP is very attentive but I'm not just interested

LapsedPacifist · 15/03/2017 01:31

No, it's completely and totally normal - your body is growing a baby, not trying to get pregnant anymore. It would be quite 'unusual' to feel otherwise at this stage , and will probably get worse before it gets better - the exhaustion you feel in the first 3 months of pregnancy can be killing.Your partner REALLY needs to take this on board and stop nagging you for sex right now. This isn't about him. Any midwife or doctor will tell you (and him) this.

Some women feel really horny later on in pregnancy though! .

MrsPicklesonSmythe · 29/06/2017 18:58

I'm just over 7 weeks we haven't had any pregnant sex at all and I have zero interest in doing so until i feel like it so possibly never ever again.

He hasn't even mentioned it in passing. I think I must have one of the good ones.

Good luck to you though God knows how you've found the energy for 4 times a week!

Flip

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.