No booze for our heads,
No clubbing, no Class A's,
No more pants of red
The midwives in the hossie,
Looked down where we lay,
A bunch of old, evil hags,
Fucked on Gas and A.
Ho, ho, ho you bunch of Hoes. 
BESH BAYBEES
dontrythisathome, girl born March 25.
Cheggers, twinz girlz, born April.
FannyPriceless, boy, born June 8.
CurlyCasper, girl, born June 24.
CUNextTuesday, boy, born June 29.
AlpinePony, boy, born 1 July.
Carrots, boy, born July.
IggyPiggy, girl, born July.
Cosmosis, boy, born Sept 5.
Backinthebox, boy, born Sept 7.
Skatergrrrl, girl, born Sept 10.
VAG, boy, born Oct 2.
Silversky, boy, born Nov 1
SomethingSuitablyWitty, girl born Nov 2
okiecokie, girl, born Nov 12
Honeymoo, boy, born Nov 11
ReginaMonologue, boy, born Nov 13
UPDIFFED
maswera, can't possibly be having a baybee next week, due December 11
PollyPoo, wants to name her baybee after the dog, The New Messiah is due December 25
MrsFC, joining whether she wants to or not, due 22 Jan
ChoChoSan, "and Lo! The lord did resurrect her petrified womb", due 31 Jan
CluckyKate, hatching an egg, due February 2
Perfect Dromedary, defied medical science, due February 24
Muser, blooming at last, due February 27
Ginhag, reckless cake-carrier, due 28th Feb
Medee, finally over the Haribo craving, due March 12
Casserole, completely out of witty things to add, due April 8
Scorpette, now carrying a RL baby in addition to Clothilda and the squid, due 18th May.
Laurielou, the unmarried hussy with the "surprise" diff, due 31 May (ish)
Rocketleaf, no longer jealous of morning sickness, due 1 June.
Twinkle Toes, supergluing her fanjo shut, due 23 June.
LadyGoneGaga, Compulsive Stick pisser, due 28 July
Get updates on how your baby develops, your body changes, and what you can expect during each week of your pregnancy by signing up to the Mumsnet Pregnancy Newsletters.
Birth clubs
The PESH in a manger
LadyGoneGaga · 02/12/2010 13:12
Blimmin' genius! That should become a festive classic
Leading on from the last fred, I wanted to ask Poleposition why she puts milk and onions in her hot beverages 
and also tell Rocket that I'd do Future Simon and Weirdy Simon. Wrong-hot works for me!
Blorp! I have just made and eaten a thai curry & rice so huge that would have posed a challenge for the world's fattest man I could go outside and roll around in the snow and then send in my self-portrait as a snowman to the BBC. Although, as I have joked on FB, when they asked for people to send in their pictures of snow, I sent them THIS ...
Thanks for new fred GG! Can we decorate the place with your piss stick christmas trees? 
Lovely new thread and the erm, contemporary decorations.
Your day sounds lovely, polly very festive! I was tempted to go to the park to scrump for holly before all the birds eat the berries but then I thought brrrrrh, best off in the warm.
score and simon sandwich? Surely that would cause some sort of rift in the space time continuum?
The universe coped with me and Poll meeting, it'll just have to HTFU for me and Teh Simonz
LadyG you are a genius!
I'm feeling a bit 
& 
. I've always been ahem, a larger lady & weight & eating are taboo subjects. Tis one of my worries about this diff mallarkey.
I know I've been eating enough for 10 2 & I haven't been overly comfortable with it, but hey, that's the way its been.
So today I was eating a sandwich at midday when one of the managers said loudly "Eating again!" So I pointed out it was lunchtime, & it was a weightwatchers bread sandwich. He then said he saw me eating a sandwich earlier (I cut them into 4 so I can eat little & often to keep nausea at bay).
He's a twat, right? Don't know why I've taken it to heart today.
So, I'll gladly accept a slap around the chops with a wet fish as I need to HTFU, but if the lovely PESH's could cast a spell, I'd be grateful. Maybe following on from previous thread it could be a hair loss spell (he's a big Hoffmiester Bear character with bushy facial hair).
Ah crap, I may be grumpy but I'm still excited about Christmas & I forgot my fecking hats again 
, 
Loz:
a) He am a colossal twat.
b) You're gorgeous.
c) That deserved the classic 'I can lose weight - what are you going to do about your face/personality' retort.
d) Drom is right - once you've got a bump, you feel better about yourself and everyone expects differds to look plumptious and lovely, so huzzah!
e) Have I mentioned that he is a twat yet?
on your behalf. Can you not muster up a little morning sickness and 'accidentally' vom all over his shoes?
I too have done zero Xmas gift shopping. I usually have it mostly done by now. Haven't even got cards nor nuffink, even though I has a 25% off Paperchase voucher burning a hole in my purse (from the Dec. issue of Red mag; the one with Nigella on the cover, if anyone else wants one).
He is a twat. As is anyone who says anything about you're eating and the person who told me I'd get gestational diabetes if I ate cake 
Ignore him. Ignore weight. Eat what you need to.
A little good news for us all, maternity care is improving. I probably shouldn't have looked at my hospital's specific report. But it was done pre-lovely birthing centre so I shall distrust it. Lalala.
laurie Not being a virgin to the big world of dieting, I put on quite a lot during my pregnancy - not sure how much because I planned to get on the scales when I went in to labour but plans changed. However, when I got home from hospital carrying a baby I was still at least a stone heavier than I thought I was. Even when I put the baby down. 5 months on I'm back to pre-pregnancy over weight. Your manger is clearly a tit though and I think you should email him to say that it is highly inappropriate for him to be passing comment on your size/appearence/eating habits. He should get the fucking hit. Btw - please to explain "H" in TFU?
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Ah, thanks all, I knew I could rely on you
Alpine whilst you were busy baybee laying we coined a new phrase - HTFU - Harden The Fuck Up. Apols - can't remember who came up with it, but I like it none the less.
I remember working with someone who got married & was diffed within 2 months. She was at the height or MS at Christmas & didn't even get to buy a card for her husband, their first Christmas together as husband & wife. I thought this was DREADFUL & couldn't believe how she couldn't even pull it together long enough to buy him a card 
. I'm going straight to hell, aren't I? Her daughter is now about 10 - is it too late to confess & apologise?
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