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Astrophe's daughter has arrived - 8 days late but worth waiting for (and what a whopper!)

(18 Posts)
Astrophe Sun 02-Aug-09 06:47:37

Clementine Elise, born on Thursday, weighing 4350g (9lb9oz)

The labour was not great - Clementine got 'stuck' on an 'anterior lip' (huh?) of cervix when I was fully dilated - so her chin liften off her chest and the position was bad... so I couldn?t push and was in unbearable pain for quite a while at that stage. Unfortunately the midwife seemed rather keen on my not having any drugs (even though I had said had used pethidine before and was open to using it again), and even though I was screaming for pethidine she kept saying I didn't need it and that the Baby would be here soon (whereas I could feel that she wouldn?t be!). She did give me some gas and air (which I had said I had used before and did not want to use again), so I used that as there was no other choice really, although I didn't like it. It was all very distressing, at thought I was going to pass out from the pain - much worse than with DC 1 and DC2 (and they were bad enough!). Not much fun.

Eventually I got out of the bath and was pushing, and the MWs couldn't find Clementine?s heart beat, so the room filled with doctors and extra MWs and one doctor gave me a local anaesthetic and was about to do an episiotomy to get her out, when X (my midwife, with whom I had discussed episiotomy and who knew I was HAPPY to have one if that would minimise damage, even though they are not routine here) shouted at me to push, saying "you need to push her out NOW, the sooner we get her out the better"...and so of course I pushed, and Clementine was born in one big push, hence 2nd degree tears and 1.5L blood loss as a blood vessel tore. How I wish I'd waited 5 seconds for the episiotomy! I feel quite cross with the midwife now, in hindsight, foir making me push when the Doctor literally hed the scissors ready to do the episiotomy.

It turned out that Clemmie's heart was just fine (they took an oxygen sample from the placenta which showed she wasn't in distress at all - although of course nobody was to know that then), and so of course we are just so thankful for the wonderful blessing of a healthy daughter...but I feel like the MW was pushing her own agenda not mine, and can't help thinking how much smoother things would have been if I?d been listened to! My main sadnesses are that using the gas and air means that I haven't got very clear memories of the birth, and that I felt isolated from DH and unable to communicate (which is why I didn?t want it in the first place!), and that, because of the blood loss and stitches, I didn't really hold Clemmie until an hour or so after she was born, by which stage she had been washed and dressed...so I didn't really have those first moments with her (save 5 seconds when they put her on my chest after she was born).

Anyway, it seems silly to be dwelling on these things, because we have the best outcome, despite it not being the best experience! Clementine is so beautiful with a little round face, lots of dark hair and a button nose. She is feeding really well, and happily my blood count is not as drastic as it could be so I wont need a transfusion as first thought. Yay! I'm not pregnant anymore...hurrah!

LeninGrad Sun 02-Aug-09 06:56:26

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

girlsyearapart Sun 02-Aug-09 07:19:45

Yay congrats to you! Bet you don't need any tips on what to do with your time now..
Enjoy her!

BonsoirAnna Sun 02-Aug-09 07:21:34

Beautiful, beautiful name!

Congratulations smile

magbags Sun 02-Aug-09 09:04:34

Congratualtions and what a lovely choice of name for your brand new daughter! smile

FabBakerGirlIsBack Sun 02-Aug-09 09:18:00

Congratulations.

I suggest you write a letter to the midwife setting out your disappointment that she didn't listen to you. She might be qualified in midwifery but you are qualified in you.

You don't have to send it but it might help you put it to bed.

Enjoy your scrumptious new baby.

MamaG Sun 02-Aug-09 09:18:48

Congratulations Astrophe! Sorry it didn't go quite the way you wanted, but well done on having your beautiful big girl



(You're not silly for dwelling on the bits that make you sad btw - completley natural)

claireybee Sun 02-Aug-09 09:20:27

Congratulations on your lovely daughter.

Sorry you weren't listened to though sad

What a beautiful name you've chosen too smile

belgo Sun 02-Aug-09 09:23:06

Congratulations apostrophe, sorry to hear the birth wasn't very pleasant, and Clementine Elise is a lovely name.

Astrophe Sun 02-Aug-09 12:21:58

Thanks all We are really happy, it was cathartic to write about the labour here actually, I think I feel a bit better about it already, but maybe I will write a letter too. I will see the MW tomorrow, so will see if I feel gutsy enough to mention it to her, or at least ask her why she stopped the doctor doing the episiotomy and why she didn't give me pethidine. I suspect she'll have a 'reason', but at least she'll know I am not thrilled with how things went.

Anyway, in the grand scheme of things, we didn't do too badly and Clementine is well worth the trouble

LeninGrad Sun 02-Aug-09 13:10:50

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LeninGrad Sun 02-Aug-09 13:16:05

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Frizbe Sun 02-Aug-09 21:08:11

Think its a good idea to write your pointers out for the midwife Astro, is it the same one who didn't know about SPD? anyway once again grin CONGRATULATIONS on the birth of Clementine smile hope she's feeding and sleeping well and all is good with the family x

ScummyMummy Sun 02-Aug-09 22:05:12

Many congratulations, apostrophe. Clementine sounds gorgeous. Sorry things got so scary- thank goodness she was ok. Hope you sort things out with the midwife tomorrow.

Astrophe Mon 03-Aug-09 09:39:54

LeninGrad - yes, they did try, but it was excruciating (and didn't work). In the end, getting up and out of the bath helped, and just waiting.

Friz, yes, same MW.

She is feeding very well weighed today and she has only lost 40g (I think just over 1oz in British weight?).

Think I sent you some photos Friz? Email me if I didn't, and I shall.

laundrylover Mon 03-Aug-09 10:07:44

Found you Astro grin. Sorry your birth didn't go quite to plan but the photos of Clementine are lovely and of course it was all worth it!! Even without that skin to skin you've got your feeding going - what a pro!!

Is an anterior lip a bit of cervix in the way? I had this with DD2 and the MW held it out of the way....can't remember much other than than that as was right at the end obviously.

Better not let my sister read your birth story in between contractions....think her baby might arrive on it's due date which is tomorrowsmile.

sunnydelight Tue 04-Aug-09 01:38:33

Congratulations! I just did a search for you as I reckoned you must have had her by now. Love the name btw, one of my best friends in the UK called her daughter that. Sorry to hear labour didn't go to plan but hey ho, at least she's here safely now. CAT me when you're up and about and we can have that long awaited coffee (I got a new puppy this weekend - not quite in the same league grin}.

Astrophe Wed 05-Aug-09 10:03:29

Thanks everyone

Sunny, I will CAT you, and if I don't within 6 weeks or so, please remind me! We plan to move in the next 2-3 months...busy times ahead!

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