Announcing baby after friend's loss?

[Camia]

I'll try to keep this fairly short without leaving out anything important. I have a sort of family friend who my family has known for a very long time (since she was 5 or 6 I believe). She's only a couple years older than me and the same age as my brother so we went through school together and all, and by total coincidence her parents and my partner's are friends as well. She and her husband have struggled with fertility and pregnancy, including multiple miscarriages. Most recently we both ended up pregnant and due within a few weeks of each other. Unfortunately there were complications with her pregnancy that ended in a third trimester loss. It was awful and completely heartbreaking, and I can't imagine what it's been like for her. I haven't seen her in person since, but have reached out over text to offer my support and leave things open if she needs anything or wants to talk. I've also kept anything pregnancy related off of social media because of it.

Now I'm expecting my baby within the next couple weeks. I've dealt with some guilt at times since the complications came up and it's hitting me again now that delivery is feeling so real and close, and I'm not really sure how to handle it. It's a time when I should be excited and happy (and I am, I'm so excited for my baby to be here) but I don't want to make anything worse for her, especially as I imagine the approaching due date will be a sensitive time. I just don't know how to approach announcing the birth when the time comes. Do I keep it just to immediate family for a while? Do I put something up on social media (which is my main contact with some friends and family who live far away)? Do I say something to her directly or just leave it? Am I completely overthinking?

Any help is very much appreciated

[PETRONELLAS]

How kind you are.
Don’t be ‘hindered’ announcing your baby on Facebook etc.
I would drop her a message saying you think of her every day/whatever and don’t want anything you do to cause further pain or anguish by being insensitive. I expect though she mourns her own baby but doesn’t begrudge you yours. Best wishes for it all.

[namechangecareerchange]

What a lovely friend you are. I'm certain she'll know this and will know that whatever you do will be with kindness.
I'd be honest with her. Give her the choice. "You're welcome to visit but you don't have to". Say it in the way you wrote it. She will I'm sure be excited for you but jealousy and sadness for herself is normal too.
You are a lovely friend. Good luck and congrats!

[CrotchetyQuaver]

Perhaps you could send her a PM before you make the official announcement?

[LBTM]

I would let her know before you do a public announcement and let her know that you know it must be difficult but you would love to see her when she feels ready. We lost our DD shortly after she was born and two close friends were due in the next few months. One did really well at letting me talk about it and acknowledging our pain, and was, and still is, good at acknowledging that our DD is still a part of our family. I feel so grateful to her and we're closer friends because of it. The other friend swept it all under the carpet a bit, never helped me talk about my feelings and the first I knew any her baby was seeing it on FB. I still feel a bit hurt years later.

[Mommabear20]

We went through a similar situation, we announced our pregnancy in December, my cousin found out she was pregnant the next month (told me immediately as we were 'going through this together' ) there unfortunately wasn't a heartbeat when she went for a 8 week scan (she's had a car accident and was sent for a scan). I was then worried that seeing or hearing about my pregnancy would be hard for her, she assured me that while it was difficult she was still so thrilled for us and didn't feel bad towards us or our baby at all. I'm sure your friend will feel the same way. It says a lot of you that you are concerned with her feelings though, she's lucky to have you.
Good luck with your new addition