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Is it weird to not tell anyone?!!

(34 Posts)
Hey1256 Mon 23-Sep-19 20:00:34

My husband wants to wait until my belly is too huge to hide to tell anyone. He thinks it will be more exciting!

I agree with him and tbh can't handle people giving me advice asking how I am etc for eight months that's remaining of my pregnancy. It will seriously do my head in.

So....he doesn't want to tell anyone on his side at all.

I've said I want to tell me immediate family and then a few close friends after 12 weeks.

Is it weird to not say anything to most people until I start showing? Even if this is 5-6 months we want to wait as I really want it to be private. I'm not comfortable with my body and hormones changing in front of everyone to see.

I also don't want to be thought of as a total weirdo! Or should I just not care what anyone e thinks?!

BusyDoingNothingx Mon 23-Sep-19 20:13:00

It's totally up to you how you announce your pregnancy and when ☺️. I announced to family at 12 weeks. It also depends on what your bump is like there was definitely no hiding mine at 5 months 😂 congratulations!

Mooncupblues Mon 23-Sep-19 20:14:28

I’m with your husband here but not for excitement reasons. Just ... why do people need a big announcement?

If I had another people would just find out when they found out through general chit chat with me or parents etc.

Hey1256 Mon 23-Sep-19 20:15:33

Thanks!! I'm really happy I just hope everything turns out ok I'll feel better after 12 week scan.

I think my immediate family would be annoyed if I waited that long but I'm not fussed about what anyone else thinks but also don't want to be extreme and wait to the point where people think it's just weird!!

Do people genuinely respect announcements no matter how late they are?

SmallShortSally Mon 23-Sep-19 20:19:28

Yeah, I'm with you guys. Told immediate family and 2 friends, then just waiting for my enormous belly to announce itself. It didn't get all that big, so even at 8 months some people I saw on a weekly basis were only just beginning to realise. I just never felt it needed a big announcement. To me that was more awkward. I hate attention at the best of times. Would rather people just noticed gradually.

AllFourOfThem Mon 23-Sep-19 20:20:36

I didn’t ever announce my pregnancies and just waited until it was obvious or else mentioned it in passing if it was necessary to do so at the time.

Hey1256 Mon 23-Sep-19 20:21:48

@SmallShortSally yes this is exactly how I feel.

I don't want attention from it. I remember with our wedding and people used it every day to make small talk and it really drove me nuts.

I don't want the same thing to happen again.

Most definitely with people at work anyway they will be finding out last minute for sure.

071019DD Thu 10-Oct-19 12:11:05

We told immediate family and close friends at 12 weeks and then waited until 20 week scan before we mentioned it to anyone else. Not weird at all not to tell, certainly not until you start to really show anyway! Good luck with your pregnancy xxx

Smiffette Fri 11-Oct-19 08:42:01

@Hey1256 I would totally prefer to go all through pregnancy without anyone other than immediate family knowing!
So I will definitely wait until I start showing which I'm hoping means I can get to January! Then I can blame weight gain on over eating at Christmas 😊
I'm only 4+4 at the moment and had a mc in April so another reason why I am keen to keep it secrets as long as possible.

Hey1256 Fri 11-Oct-19 08:51:31

@Smiffette that makes sense you wouldn't want anyone to know under those circumstances. Somehow it's managed to get around all of DH family which I wasn't too best pleased about. Just my immediate and best mates know for now.

My plan is to keep from work colleagues until I show! Which I'm expecting will be at least another two-three months!

thatsmyumbrella Fri 11-Oct-19 09:30:07

I only told close friends and family, work colleagues just happened naturally however I do remember some awkward exchanges during meetings when I would mention I wouldn't be at the next one because I was going to be on mat leave and some people did seem a bit miffed that they didn't know I was pregnant. Same with some of my neighbours when we seemed to just arrive home with a newborn

Hey1256 Fri 11-Oct-19 09:48:26

@thatsmyumbrella lol that's funny that you just arrived with a. Newborn. I certainly won't be telling the neighbours!!!

hanan246 Fri 11-Oct-19 12:28:19

I think its fine to wait as long as you want. My friends sister did this. Friend announced her pregnancy at around 12 weeks and then a couple of months later her sister announced that she was pregnant and something like 24 weeks! It was a bit weird though for her that all of a sudden there was another baby in the family due before hers!

Botanica Wed 16-Oct-19 04:56:33

Totally fine. We didn't tell anyone until after 20 weeks. Not a soul - it was a lovely secret between my partner and I and enabled us to get through those early months of anxiety without being on anyone else's radar, however well meaning.
What it also meant was a huge surprise for everyone else and a lot of excitement in the family as we were over half way there by the time they knew. And it's meant the final few months have skipped by at quite a pace for us which has been nice.

Helpmedecide123 Wed 16-Oct-19 05:45:10

Don't forget you do need to tell work within a certain timeframe to qualify for maternity pay.

soberfabulous Wed 16-Oct-19 06:11:13

i didnt' tell anyone until I was 25 weeks - and even then no one had guessed!

codenameduchess Wed 16-Oct-19 06:17:02

I don't get 'announcements', the social media ones are cringey! and I think keeping it private in the early stages is nice.

We told immediate family and close friends after the 12 week scan with both dc, anyone else found out as and when. I'm 33 weeks now and there are still some people who don't know if I don't see them often (or they haven't spoken to dd, who has announced to everyone that a baby is coming out of mummy's vagina).

You have to tell your employer by 15 weeks before your due date to qualify for maternity pay but that's your only deadline.

highheelsandbobblehats Wed 16-Oct-19 06:18:51

lol that's funny that you just arrived with a. Newborn. I certainly won't be telling the neighbours

Our neighbours on one side moved in whilst I was in hospital having DS1. The first time I met them, I was getting out of the car, arriving home from hospital. The chap came over to me to introduce himself, spotted my still sizable bump and asked me when I was due. I gestured to the car and said 'he was born yesterday'. Poor guy didn't know where to put himself.

Bol87 Fri 18-Oct-19 21:50:03

Each to their own. Bit harsh to call social media announcements cringy though. As someone who has suffered with HG both pregnancies, a tiny bit of joy has come from announcing my pregnancies to friends on social media or WhatsApp (depending how close we are). The well wishes have brightened my miserable days. You don’t always know what people are going through & why they might do something. Equally, you don’t want to announce it, good for you.

Mrsmummy90 Sat 19-Oct-19 23:20:29

My friend's dd just had a baby and only announced it when the baby was born. Only family and very close friends knew.

Whomei Sat 19-Oct-19 23:22:43

What about work? I was conscious of telling them as soon as I could after the 12 week scan just in case I was unwell, had to finish up early etc

smartcarnotsosmartdriver Sat 19-Oct-19 23:28:01

Most people don't know I'm pregnant, my close family, my boss and friends that I see pretty much every day know. Nobody else does. I'm 34 weeks now.

GrumpyHoonMain Sat 19-Oct-19 23:30:08

It’s a bit of a dick move telling your side at 12 weeks and his not until the baby is born.

GingerRH Thu 07-Nov-19 18:46:39

@Hey1256 I'm only planning on telling close friends and immediate family. Won't be posting anything on Facebook. So unless it's people I see on a regular basis (close friends and immediate family). It'll probably when the babies here before people know lol.

Is that weird? It might be but I'm not a massive over sharer on fb so don't know how else one announces it to everyone without a fb post.

Hey1256 Thu 07-Nov-19 19:15:55

@GingerRH I don't think it's weird at all. That was exactly my plan too. Go for it and good luck!

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