Breaking the news!

[S082018]

Hi everyone...I need some advice.

Just this week, my husband and I found out that we are expecting baby number 1! I am just shy of 4 weeks pregnant so VERY early days and have my first doctors appointment next week.

Here's the thing... we still live with my husbands family (cultural expectation!). My husband works away during the week so I actually went to visit him and stayed with him for a few days so we have had a few days to let it sink in just us two.

I am a firm believer in not telling anybody until at least the 12 week mark. However, as I am living with my in laws (mother in law, father in law and younger sister in law) it's going to be so hard to keep quiet. On top of this, we are all going on holiday together next week! So I won't be drinking.

My gut feeling is to tell my mother in law (she is very supportive and we get on so well) as she is not stupid and will more than likely see the signs herself soon. Especially if I'm not enjoying cocktails with her on hols. If I tell my mother in law, I also want to tell my Mum the news too so that both mums are aware!! But I know it's super early. My husband and I also have two sisters each and I am wondering what I should do and who out of everybody should know at this point.

What would others do in this position? I am aware that this is a very individual decision and one that my husband and I ultimately will have to agree on together but I'm just interested in hearing what others would do if they were me!

Thank you in advance.

[regularbutpanickingabit]

It's the holiday bit that might make things tricky to keep to yourself. I guess you run the risk of an awkward question and you need to decide if you want to me in control of sharing the news or leave that to fate. There are various things you can do if you want to keep it to yourselves - fake an illness, say the GP appointment is for that and you are on antibiotics so can't drink etc.

However, if you have very supportive mothers and would feel more stressed NOT telling them than telling them then I would go ahead. The key thing about keeping it to yourself is partly how you would want to deal with a situation if there were any problems. Would you tell your parents then? Want to deal with it alone? If you believe you would want the support whether it was ok or not then there isn't much reason to keep it to yourselves.

Having said that, I wouldn't tell many more people until 12 weeks so keep your sisters out of it for now.

Congratulations!

[S082018]

Thank you @regularbutpanickingabit really appreciate your input!

[paddington34]

Congratulations OP wishing you a healthy pregnancy. What are your reasons for not sharing until 12 weeks? What I mean is if you were to have a miscarriage would you tell your MIL and mum? As you sound close to them I suspect you would want them to know for their support if so I would tell them. Most people tell close family early and announce to everyone else at 12 weeks.
Best wishes for you and your new family.

[S082018]

@paddington34 I suppose it's the thought that anything could happen in the first 12 weeks so the less people that know the better!

In the end we decided to tell our mums and sisters 😊 feels nice to have shared it but will keep it shush for the rest of the family until post 12 weeks. Thank you for your best wishes!! X