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Friend shared my pregnancy news and I don't know what to do

(10 Posts)
Sibby123 Sun 31-Mar-19 08:18:51

I'm about 9 weeks pregnant and had an early scan yesterday as husband can't make the 12 week due to work and we wanted him to see baby first.
At the scan we found out it was twins shock but are of course extremely excited.
Anyway it was a friends party last night and I decided to tell my two closest friends at it would be clearly obvious I wasn't drinking, so I did this but made it clear I wasn't sharing the news as I hadn't even told my family who were away yesterday.
I left the party early (exhausted) but woke up this morning to find that one of these 'close' friends had shared the news with others.

Im absolutely furious and really just want to cut this friend out of my life now. It clearly isn't her news to share and she did so as soon as I left, she has no excuses and talked about me for the rest of the night. We have been friends since nursery and told each other about first pregnancies (which I kept quiet) and now she has done this. What's worse is she has a party this weekend for her birthday and I don't want to attend.

Any advice?

jjsmum84 Sun 31-Mar-19 08:22:49

This happened to me, my best friend had told people after I left a party, woke up to lots of 'congratulations' messages and I'd not even told my grandparents yet.
She was very remorseful, blamed it on having a few too many wines but to this da I've never fully got my trust back in her and that was over 5 years ago.
I think the best thing to do is just be mindful of who your sharing things with (which is a shame, I know)
Congratulations by the way x

crumble82 Sun 31-Mar-19 08:25:13

That’s awful, no wonder you’re angry. It’s done now so I suppose all you can do is decide if you still want her as a friend. You need to tell her how angry you are and I certainly wouldn’t be trusting her with anymore secrets.

Congratulations on your pregnancy.

greyby25 Sun 31-Mar-19 08:41:54

I would be very angry, furious probably. Its not her news to share so why has she shared it. Although close friends it's not her place at all ! I remember after I had my first my boyfriends step mum shared pictures that we had sent his dad on Facebook to announce the birth. I'd only met the woman twice and they split up a month later. It leaves a bitter taste ! I've just found out I'm pregnant with identical twins ! Congratulations OP x

MsSquiz Sun 31-Mar-19 08:51:35

The thing is, as soon as you share a secret, you lose control of the secret. And while I can understand why you are upset, you did choose to tell 2 people at a party, presumably they were drinking? Maybe they were just excited and your news and paired with being drunk, mentioned it to someone else.

Is this really worth losing a lifelong friendship over?

Sibby123 Sun 31-Mar-19 14:34:13

Thanks for all your replies, it helps confirm that my feelings are justified. I think I'll make it clear how hurt I feel.
I do understand I chose to tell them and maybe the environment wasn't the best but I do feel that whatever the situation she should know it's not her news to share, this is someone I never dreamed would do that but maybe it's a lesson I needed to learn. I'd rather not lose a friendship but trust is huge in a relationship and that's now been damaged so it probably won't be the same regardless xx

littlecabbage Sun 31-Mar-19 14:39:41

I agree you need to tell her how upset you are by her actions. Her reaction to that will tell you all you need to know about whether the friendship can be repaired.

ColdCrumpetsandButter Sun 31-Mar-19 14:42:44

I agree you need to tell her how upset you are by her actions. Her reaction to that will tell you all you need to know about whether the friendship can be repaired.

This.

If the person minimises it or makes a throwaway comment that would be it for me.

Loopytiles Sun 31-Mar-19 14:45:05

It was a betrayal of trust by your friend, but unless there are other issues in your friendship it’s not worth ending the friendship over (rather than just telling her you’re v pissed off) IMO, or even missing her birthday celebration for. Particularly if she had been drinking.

Other guests on the night out will probably have guessed anyway, because you weren’t drinking, and may even have asked her directly.

S1naidSucks Sun 31-Mar-19 14:46:54

I would tell every single person that congratulates you, that you appreciate their best wishes, but you’re extremely distressed that she shared this CONFIDENTIAL information with others, after you asked her not to. She can then explain to them why she did this.

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