So I’m pregnant and it’s so exciting and scary and amazing.
My heart is happy. My head is thinking of all the things we need to do to get ready now also at times completely empty as baby brain kicks in.
I still haven’t felt the movement of our little one but I’ve seen little arms and legs stretch and flex during ultrasounds. I’ve heard the heartbeat of our little baby and it is astounding.
There are days that if I forget the frequent heart burn then I really don’t feel any differently to how I did pre pregnancy... and I’m amazed that the miraculous changes going on in my tummy are so imperceivable. I then think about the new little being that is growing into what will be our baby and my heart is filled with hope and thanks for the dream finally becoming fulfilled.
I know that becoming a parent will not be easy. I know raising children is fraught with difficulties. I have also watched (and helped) relations and friends raise their children and I know that it is a joy most parents would not give up.
Now my husband and I spent considerable time, money and heartache to get to this stage in our lives. We have been so happy knowing we are expecting - this is our time, it’s our moment for a dream to come true.
And yet since announcing our pregnancy we’ve been lectured about “how difficult it is to be a parent” and “how you both can’t know how hard it is until the baby arrives”. We’ve been told not to even think about having a second until we see how we go with the first. And all this from people close to us who know how we have struggled to get pregnant and know our desire to have children.
Now I get it, parenting is hard and most people don’t comprehend just how hard until they are parents. But you know what, my husband and I are intelligent adults in our 30s who have a wealth of experience that included assisting with the raising of children. We know what difficulties to expect. We have seen friends and relations go through sleepless nights and the on going demands of raising their children that put a strain on even the best relationships. And guess what, we have gone through sleepless nights in prior relationships with children or when assisting to care for the children of relations to give loved ones a break and bond with nephews and nieces. We have a good understanding and experience with what to expect.
My husband and I are going into parenthood with eyes wide open. We have already been through the turmoil of IVF to get to this far and while it has taken its toll we still stand together as an “US”. We want our life together to include children and now we have our first on its way. We will get to meet our bub in just a few months and we are happy knowing our lives will never be the same again.
Now we have been lectured while together and I’ve been lectured alone so I can only guess my husband has experienced the same... I don’t know if the people doing the lecturing are well meaning or not and I don’t care. They took our happy moment and made it all about them and their bad experience with parenthood. They forgot the old saying that if they don’t have anything nice to say then don’t say anything at all.
I just want to tell them that if they have nothing nice to say then STFU and stay in their own miserable hole without trying to drag us into it with them. We know parenthood will be hard and will mean giving up a lot as our priority becomes the welfare and wellbeing of this coming child and maybe, IF we desire more and IF we are lucky enough to have more, any future siblings. There is no need for anyone to “educate” new parents on just how bad parenting can be - trust me, WE KNOW because we have watched others go through it! And we have also seen that the good makes all the effort worth it.
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Need advice on dealing with negativity
16 replies
Domj19 · 02/03/2019 22:08
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Joycegrose ·
23/09/2020 07:24
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