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Help please!

(5 Posts)
JBCG Mon 15-Oct-18 11:20:31

Bit of a long story so I'll try and summarise as best I can! DP and I decided we'd like to TTC in the next year or so due to various life situations meaning it would be best to have a baby in the next few years rather than wait. I spoke with my doctor and he advised that it can take 6 - 18 months to get pregnant when coming off Cerazette. So I stopped taking the pill mid September. Well this morning I got a BFP! I did know it could be a possibility that it could happen right away, but nonetheless it has come as a bit of a surprise as I thought we'd have longer to get ready. We are moving house in 2 months and the house needs a lot of work. I have done two tests today, both positive and have an appointment at my doctors tomorrow to confirm. I'm terrified! I want a baby, DP wants a baby but I'm still terrified! Is there a chance the tests are wrong? Does that happen? If I am pregnant, should I tell my parents right away or wait til the 3 month mark? I work for my family business so my dad is also my boss! I've also got several work / social events coming up in the next few weeks so need to find an excuse that I'm not drinking (or smoking which I have now quit obviously!) but both will be very noticeable for those who know me.

I don't know what to do and am freaking out!! Some advice would be very welcome please!

Mexie Tue 16-Oct-18 22:31:18

Hey, I know you're in a bit of shock right now but congratulations 💜
The not drinking/smoking is definitely a minefield to manoeuvre - one of my friends would serve herself a glass of wine and make sure she took tiny sips from it whenever the attention was on her, and no one noticed she wasn't really drinking.
As for not telling parents, the recommendation about not telling people until you're 3 months is because of risk of miscarriage in the first trimester. Personally I told my parents straight away because if I had miscarried I would have definitely wanted their support; it's up to you and the relationship you have with them! smile

JBCG Wed 17-Oct-18 09:07:26

@Mexie thank you so much for coming back to me. Over the last few days my terror has diminished slightly and now I'm getting my head around it slightly I'm very happy and excited!! We decided to tell my parents, mainly because I felt like I needed to talk to my mum about the fact that I was freaking out!! But I also thought as you suggested that if anything did go wrong, I'd tell her anyway. I feel that way about telling my two closest friends as well, but DP would really rather I didn't until 12 weeks. I've tried to explain that if the worst does happen, I'll tell them anyway, so can't see really why he doesn't want me to tell them now, but he is quite adamant he wants us to wait. I don't want to go behind his back, but I'm seeing them tomorrow and I know I'll struggle to keep my mouth shut! I don't know what to do!

Mexie Wed 17-Oct-18 16:36:51

You could explain to him that you need your support network as it's your body which is going through all of this so it's important to you to let those closest to you know, especially as you will probably have some morning sickness in the first trimester. I know how much I've valued the support of my friends throughout my pregnancy. Has he said why he doesn't want them knowing? Is he worried something might go wrong? I honestly don't think I could have kept the information in 🙊

JBCG Wed 17-Oct-18 17:07:54

He is very worried about something going wrong, for a couple of reasons. Firstly, in a previous relationship he and his ex partner sadly had two miscarriages and so I think he's just very conscious that the worst could happen. Also, I have a number of medical issues that could mean that the pregnancy won't be straight forward (particularly in the first trimester with hormones flying around) so again he's just being extra cautious. I want to be understanding towards his point of view but it's hard to reach a compromise when we want exact opposites!

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