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Should I tell my Father I am pregnant?

(8 Posts)
3happylittlepigs Wed 05-Sep-18 22:25:38


Myself and my husband are expecting our first baby which we are thrilled about. We are currently 4months pregnant.

My question is, do I have to tell my Father he will be a grandfather when I do not have a relationship with him?

I know who my dad is and I am connected to him via social media , we have met up maybe 2 or 3 times over the last say 10 years, but I do not consider myself to have any relationship with him in any form. The question is , do I have a duty to tell him he will be a grandfather ? And if so, what is expected of me once I have told him?
Thanks in advance !

OP’s posts: |
Starlight345 Wed 05-Sep-18 22:28:52

No there is no requirement but as you are on S. media he will find out .

He has no legal rights to see his grandchild

thelittlesausage Wed 05-Sep-18 22:43:00

Thank you for your reply , it's much appreciated and nice to know you don't feel it is essential I have to tell him. It would be so awkward and I would feel like I would have to make an effort to establish a relationship with him !

Myself and my husband have agreed that we won't be posting anything baby related on our social media as we want to keep the pregnancy exclusively off line and also when the baby is here, keep the baby's privacy smile

Sydneey Wed 17-Jul-19 07:27:11

This relates to me so much! Im in a very similar situation and don't have much of a relationship with my dad either. If you don't have a close relationship, then I shouldn't think it would be expected at all. Congratulations btw!! x

PRichardson Tue 23-Jul-19 17:34:58

Depends really if it was me I’d tell him give him a text or a call but whatever happens after that is down to him.. obviously if the reason you fell out isn’t anything to effect your child’s and his relationship then if he chooses to see her I would let it happen. If he doesn’t make the effort then fuck him off

mamatoizzybee Wed 24-Jul-19 11:23:25

@Sydneey @PRichardson thank you for your replies .
I haven't fell out with him. I've just never really known him . Him and my mum split before I was born and he visited when I was a baby and very small , which I do remember , but the visits fizzled out. I never enjoyed him coming , I remember as a child never knowing how to talk or play with him - and he probably felt the same way too. It's quite sad really.
I've met him as an adult a handful of times with the intention of forming a relationship , we arrange to meet and then years pass before we meet again and then years pass again. I haven't seen him in maybe 3 or 4 years now. Not because we fell out, just because the conversation stops somehow , I'm not sure why . Again, maybe we don't know how to talk to each other. And again, it's a sad situation .

I'm not bothered by it , I don't mind and I don't miss not having a dad in my life . This makes me feel guilty but it's true .

My daughter is currently 5 months and I haven't told him. Because I kept forgetting and then when I do remember him, I feel
Bad he doesn't know. But at the same time , I'm not sure if I would want him to around as I can't trust he won't just flit off after one meeting .

I'm not sure what I'm wanting as advice really , maybe just reassurance that it's not a bad thing that I don't want or need a relationship with him

que3nvic Wed 21-Aug-19 11:17:42

I have no contact with my mum and I'm not going to tell her when I become pregnant. Just because you're related by blood doesn't mean you have to have a relationship.

30somethingandtired Mon 30-Sep-19 23:57:20

No obligation at all.

When I had my DD estranged family wanted to get back in contact and see baby etc. I said no and we lived happily ever after without them.

If you've not built a relationship up to now, there's probably a good reason for it.

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