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Someone please give me some useful advice.

(12 Posts)
firsttimemother1994 Wed 13-Jun-18 14:57:51

Hi, anyone had anything similar happen to them.. I’m six weeks pregnant with my first child and as it’s too early for everyone to know, we told only people we thought could be trusted. It turns out my partners dad couldn’t be trust as he decided it was his choice to post it on social media.. After asking him to take it down, I was threatened by him and called names? Am I the bad person here as I really don’t think I am!

frasier Wed 13-Jun-18 15:03:30

That’s the last time he gets told ANYTHING.

Did he know he was not supposed to publicise it?

We didn’t tell MIL and FIL until the month before I was due for this very reason, MIL has a huge mouth. She got told nothing, only basics, but she just made stuff up to tell people anyway. Then she’d ring me and tell me what she’d said so I’d know to “back her up”.

She’s cut off now and everyone knows. That put a stop to her gossip spreading!

Pascall Wed 13-Jun-18 15:10:00

It's so sad these days that you have to preface everything with "please don't put this on facebook/Instagram/twitter/whatever"

YANBU

LJFM2B Wed 13-Jun-18 15:25:26

Wow - sorry your going through this... that honestly sounds unbelievable?!!!! you have every right to be angry and the least he should be doing is taking it off of the bloody internet and making it up to you!!! so so unfair!!!

Also unfair that you now probably feel like you wont be able to trust anyone with things!!!!

Its your news to tell even if you were further along and telling people, its up to you to say "its ok to tell people now" and at the early stages pregnancy is such a worry, you dont need people asking questions or congratulating you even if it is all for nice reasons it just puts pressure on things if thats not what you want!

He sounds awful!

firsttimemother1994 Wed 13-Jun-18 18:40:51

@fraiser He will not be told anything after this. Yes he knew he wasn’t supposed to but it wasn’t until after he did it, I was by told by the members of my partners family that he had done it before. If I knew he couldn’t be trusted, I wouldn’t of told him anything.

@pascall this is so true, people are too quick to jump on social media too blurt out anything and everything sad

@LJFM2B yeah it took him a whole day to take it off, by which time everyone knew. Even people I don’t know now know. He then had put up another status saying he hates me for asking him to take it down. That’s exactly how I feel, it feels like everything my partner told me about him was a lie. He is awful and that’s putting it politely, just glad I see the type of person he is before it was too late.

firsttimemother1994 Wed 13-Jun-18 18:41:40

And thank you to everyone who responded smile

LJFM2B Thu 14-Jun-18 09:46:45

My god is he a teenager??? putting up he hates his DIL for asking him to take down a facebook post about her very private news!!!

I really feel for you, this is the time you want/need your family and friends to rally round for you - not your FIL acting up and showing colours you never see before!!

Whats your DP said about this out of interest?

firsttimemother1994 Thu 14-Jun-18 11:03:27

You would think so with how he is acting. So immature!

Indeed, I’m glad I have my side of the family at least. And my MIL is also on my side as she knows what he’s like (though I wasn’t really warned)

My DP first made me out to be the bad guy, the main reason his dad felt it was okay to leave it up and to threaten me as apparently he doesn’t like the way I’m treating his son.

That’s caused a lot of strain on my relationship and now it’s kinda awkward.. Especially because I said that FIL isn’t allowed to see the child after threatening me, that may be selfish but I still believe I have the right. Because even after he put it all over social media I still could of forgiven him.. after that though I can’t.

Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar Thu 14-Jun-18 11:05:38

How did he threaten you?

stepbystepdoula Fri 15-Jun-18 11:04:51

Sorry to hear This, he certainly owes you an apology, but itceould be sad if your early pregnancy memories were marred by his actions.
I would try to leave it behind you, avoid him and allow both time and his apology to heal things 💚

Lymphy Sat 16-Jun-18 17:58:56

My MIL did this, we told them as we had told my parents and thought it was only fair, I was 9 weeks! She posted straight away on Fb, I was furious she was awful to me saying I was precious etc (I'd had chemo and was told they didn't know how that would affect a future pregnancy not that I need to justify it IMO) I'm currently 37 weeks with no 2 my DH didn't want them to know at all, but we told them at 20 weeks, they are still sulking as we've asked it remain off social media. Ridiculous behaviour try to ignore it (easier said than done)

divafever99 Sat 16-Jun-18 18:50:45

Sorry to hear this op, not his news to share! I recommend you keep the birth quiet until you have announced it first in the way you want to. My step mil posted the birth of my second child all over Facebook just a couple of hours after birth, whilst I was I the high dependancy unit after a complicated birth and baby was in special care. So inappropriate.

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