Scared to tell to soon(10 Posts)
With feeling so ill, sick and unable to leave the house. My partner would like to tell the family sooner than we wanted about our pregnancy.
I’m terrified. I’m so scared to tell everyone and then something bad happens. I think (as no midwife has contacted me yet even though I keep asking) that I’m only around 6 weeks.
Is this too soon? It will be the first baby in my family. I would hate to get everyone’s hopes up for something to happen. I have anxiety and have been over thinking this like crazy. Feels like I will cause bad luck.
Any advice would be appreciated
I’m five weeks and I have told a couple of family members, my best friend and my boss (incase the worst happens and it affects me coming into work). The way I see it is these are all people I would tell if I did miscarry, for their support and comfort. I can understand not wanting to get their hopes up, I am constantly having to remind my mum I’m so early, anything can happen. For me I’m trying to be realistic about miscarriage in early pregnancy, and trying to relay to my family members that I would appreciate it if they refrain from using terms such as ‘you will be fine’ and ‘you won’t miscarry’ because I want to keep level headed. Just keep telling yourself, that god forbid the worst happens, it would have nothing to do with telling your family or not, so you shouldn’t let that bad thought sway you in whatever you choose to do. Do what feels right for you and your partner.
Wish you the best of luck in your pregnancy ￼
I have to say I am scared as hell, I keep saying to my partner “you will be fine” even though she is as scared as I am. What can I say instead??
Don't let him pressure you into anything.
I wouldn't tell anyone before 12 weeks but that's personal.
Telling people doesn't stop something bad happening. If in that awful situation you'd want support from those people then maybe you would like to tell them early.
@cycledad simply 'we are in this together no matter what' is all she needs to hear. It's a very scary time especially if there is history of mc.
I suffered severe sickness and ended up being admitted. We still kept it quiet until 12 weeks. Don't let him pressure you. I was the same worried about something happening. It was difficult to hide especially at work when I was being sick a lot but we managed.
@Poppy1989 I told my mum and sister at 5 weeks. Partly because as @AELLE7 said, I would want their support if something went wrong. I also needed their help keeping it from my wider family on my birthday! I love my family and wouldn't mind any individually knowing, but there are too many of them for everyone to know this soon! I think the big thing is your relationship with your family. You don't have to tell them all, but if there's someone whose support you would like, then telling them may be a good thing.
Mine was an ivf pregnancy so we had to tell people who knew timings of the ivf when we had a positive test (basically parents and siblings) however I would recommend paying for a private scan at 7 weeks (they're about £50) and then once you've seen the heart beat you may feel a bit more confident telling close family and friends. I'd still only tell people you'd confide in if you miscarried.
We paid for another private scan at 10 weeks - I looked at statistics and if you have confirmed heart beat and all well at 10 weeks the chance of miscarriage is 0.4% so I just told people after that.
As someone who had 2 mcs,I would say don't be afraid to tell people that would be able to support you if the worst did happen. It's harder to tell people you were pregnant but not anymore.
Congratulations on your pregnancy
Hope you don't feel too sick
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