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Unplanned pregnancy how to tell husband?

(19 Posts)
LaurG Thu 09-Nov-17 23:49:06


I hope you ladies can give me some advice. I’m 36 and have just found out I’m pregnant. Kids have always been a sort of notional idea for my husband and I rather than a reality. We never really dared take the plunge.

I ran out of the pill about 3 weeks ago and have literally had sex once in that time. I knew it was risky but threw caution to the wind. I literally did not think at 36 you could get pregnant in one go. Plus I’ve been on and off the pill for ten years.Anyway, once was enough! I’m now 5 weeks gone.

I suspected something was up as my period was late and I’ve been feeling rather sick. However, I said nothing to my hubster.

I was really sick at work earlier this week and I started to go from suspicion to just knowing that I was pregnant. My husband was away tonight so I did two tests and both immediately turned positive.

I’m really happy. There’s a long way to go but I’m delighted st least that I know I can get pregnant. But I need to tell my husband when he gets home tomorrow. I didn’t tell him that I’d runout of the pill or that I was worried. I wish I had but I really didn’t think I’d get pregnant Snd didn’t want to worry him unnecessarily. I think he will be ok but totally shocked. He’s not expecting this at all. I feel like I have really failed h by not just telling him when I suspected even more so for knowingly having unprotected sex.

Any advice most welcome. I’m going to tell him as soon as possible. Thank you 😊

MissConductUS Fri 10-Nov-17 02:08:34

Just sit him down when you can talk comfortably, spot of tea perhaps and just tell him that you're expecting and how you think it happened. Tell him you're happy about it. Then give him some time to process. He's probably going to be gobsmacked for a bit.

Smile a lot and let him talk.

Good luck and congratulations. smile

LaurG Fri 10-Nov-17 07:46:56

Thanks miss conduct. I think I’ll need to buy beer on the way home!

CryptFascist Fri 10-Nov-17 07:49:54

What’s done is done but you were completely in the wrong for not telling him you’d stopped taking contraception, then he would have had a choice whether to use a condom.

MissConductUS Fri 10-Nov-17 09:32:10

I literally did not think at 36 you could get pregnant in one go

I got knocked up at 38 and 40. The first time took some doing, but the second time was one of the 3:00 AM half asleep encounters. I was certainly amazed by that outcome too.

Howsthings1234 Fri 10-Nov-17 19:14:45

Try not to worry OP just be honest it’s all you can do. I hope he handles it ok and I think you will feel a lot better getting it off your chest.

Needmorehands Fri 10-Nov-17 19:43:13

I posted something similar a couple of months ago. Again, we had DTD exactly once, and because I'm rubbish on dates and calendars I wasn't even sure it was the 'dangerous' time.
In my case DH found the test in teh bathroom and came downstairs to ask me if I had anything I wanted to tell him. In our case number 5 is now on the way after a 5yr gap! shock
I hope your DH takes the news as well as mine did

GreenTulips Fri 10-Nov-17 19:46:25

Let him have sometime to think about things - don't expect jumping for joy!

you could have a reveal party

BatteredBreadedOrSouthernFried Fri 10-Nov-17 19:46:54

I literally did not think at 36 you could get pregnant in one go.

Umm, it’s always only in one go! It’s not like you have to build up points!

BabyDreams2018 Fri 10-Nov-17 19:52:08

Why didn't you take the MAP if you didn't use protection and didn't want to get pregnant? Once the shock wears off your DH might be fine. flowers

LastOneDancing Fri 10-Nov-17 20:00:18

I would try to make it obvious you're really happy & think it's a great thing - if you look anxious and nervy it sets him up to see it as a bad surprise.
Look the pill isn't 100% so this could have happened at any point in the past 10 years, so don't give yourself too hard a time.
But between you & me, youre 36, never brave enough to formally take the plunge.... was this really a complete and total accident OP? Not even a subconscious 'let's roll the dice just this once...'?

CakesRUs Fri 10-Nov-17 20:06:45

Let us know how you get on. Congratulations, it’s hard work but you’ll not be able to imagine life without him/her before you know it.

flutterby12 Fri 10-Nov-17 20:09:39

Similar happened to me. I had done the test but left it on the side as thought it'd be negative (done them previously when late and been negative) so when I saw the BFP out of the corner of my eye I swore a lot and started stressing about how to tell DH. The only booze I had in was port so I had to have a glass of that for him ready - he was shocked but very happy. I still remember now him moaning about work and I had to tell him to shut up 😂 big congratulations. I'm sure your DH will be ecstatic. My son is now one 😊

NC4now Fri 10-Nov-17 20:11:10

I was really shocked when I found out I was pregnant first. I knew it was possible, but I thought ‘what?!! People TRY for a baby!’

Good luck OP and don’t feel bad. It’s a shock but a lovely piece of news. flowers

ScotsLamb Sat 18-Nov-17 11:50:28

How did it go?

LaurG Sat 18-Nov-17 12:22:54

He is delighted! Absolutely delighted. He said he would have never gone for it if he knew he was trying and was actually glad that it happened like this. I guess I knew It could happen I just really thought it was unlikely to have a ' happy accident' at my age. Oh well.. thanks for all your answers.

midsummabreak Sat 18-Nov-17 12:23:58


Howsthings1234 Sat 18-Nov-17 12:58:52

Oh that’s amazing - so pleased for you!! massive congrats xxx

ScotsLamb Sat 18-Nov-17 15:37:47

That’s awesome!

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