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AIBU for expecting more from my family?(3 Posts)
Am I being unreasonable for expecting my family to buy my baby gifts? I am 8 months pregnant and last month a couple of sisters promised big gifts of Moses baskets, buggies and car sears etc.
Now apparently they have decided they only need to buy baby clothes as "no one helped them with stuff when their babies were born". This is absolute bs.
I spent almost EVERY weekend babysitting one of my many nieces and nephews as a teenager and in my early 20's but as that was over a decade ago I guess it is long forgotten! I also used to save my pocket money to buy clothes for my beautiful nieces and nephews and then when I got older always had a huge interest in every single smile, conversation, cartoon or game that meant something to my favourite mini people. Now at last I am having a child for the first time and it genuinely feels like - because they are almost done with raising their own kids- they just can't be bothered with my baby's arrival.
Thank God my partner is so supportive and excited for our little ones arrival as I have someone to share my joy with.
I live in a different county from the rest of my family and I suppose for that reason I am easy to dismiss but they are being so hurtful and when I try and explain my feelings I just get patronised or told they are "too busy" with their own kids.
I have said a million times I don't want money thrown at me- I am not a superficial person (quite the opposite) but I am so disgusted with their "I got the baby clothes, what more do I have to do" attitude. It just makes me feel like ignoring the lot of them from here on in.
Btw I love my gorgeous nieces and nephews and am so glad I showed them so much love when they were born and as they were growing up- I would adore them all over again if I could!!! I just feel disappointed that my baby won't have that with them. Funnily enough they show plenty of interest in the baby on Facebook and Instagram (posting excited messages etc) but never ever in private or in real life so I feel that is all just show for others. AIBU?
God its so annoying when people use FB and IG to show how amazing they are when in real life they really are not! ...
I dont think your being unreasonable at all, my older brother has 3 under 4 and does have his hands full but like you i investeed alot of time and money into all 3 of his precious kiddies. i love them and would not change them for the world. i also showed a hell of alot of interest when my SIL was pregnant with all 3.
im only 8+3 but they pretty much are not that interested and i know for sure i wont be getting even slightly the same interest from them as they did for me. Luckily enough my parents and my other brother are over the moon and will be the same if not more as i will involve them more.
BUT with this being said i really think you need to not let it worry you, let you be the bigger person, always let your nieces and nephews know you love them and do what you need to do as an aunt, and your children will grow up seeing whats right. And in regards to gifts just accept what your given and be grateful, you will always keep in mind how they have been and just make the same effort with them as they do with you. i think nows the time to be a bit selfish in life - its your turn ENJOY IT
Focus on things and people who make you happy. xxx