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Telling DF I'm having his first GC

(11 Posts)
Gunsandposes Thu 01-Jun-17 06:10:53

I've nc for this as it's potentially outing but I need advice.

I recently found out I'm pregnant. Me and DP are naturally very excited but at 5 weeks very apprehensive and so far have only told his DM and mine.

My parents split many years ago and my DF remarried. I need to tell him and DSM at some point (obviously) and would rather do it in person than over the phone. Me and DF contact each other regularly but visiting is difficult as we now live over 2 hours drive away from each other and so meeting up is when we can.

I'd also like to tell DSM at the same time, I rarely see her as when my dad visits it's because he's in the area for work.

The only time I'm guaranteed to see both of them in the near future is at my DGF funeral! Which we will obviously all be going to... I can't tell them then can I? I spoke to DF yesterday and me, DF, DSM and my siblings will be going out for a meal after the funeral/wake as we don't all get to be together that often. Would I be crackers to tell them then? Part of me think it would be nice to tell them the good news on such a sad day the other part is saying how completely inappropriate it is. I don't know what to do! Tell them or save it for another time. Any advice will be so appreciated right now!

hahahaIdontgetit Thu 01-Jun-17 06:32:00

I think it's the perfect time, honestly.

beekeeper17 Thu 01-Jun-17 06:33:27

I would wait to see what the mood of the group is after the funeral. If everyone is in a relatively positive mood, sharing good memories of GF etc then it could be quite appropriate to share your news, like having something to look forward to even though it's a sad day. But if people are struggling with grief then I would leave it. Think you'll just have to judge it on the day.

Gunsandposes Thu 01-Jun-17 06:46:50

Thank you for the replies... he was unwell for quite a while before he passed so I didn't come as a massive shock but still.

I think you're right beekeeper, I'll see how I feel on the day and judge it from there.

BikeRunSki Thu 01-Jun-17 06:50:10

I think it could be a perfect moment to tell your DF.

Similar, but a bit different, when DH's grandma died, she had 5 or 6 great grandchildren under 3. At the funeral, one by one they were taken out of the crematorium and were kicking a ball around when the service finished. Later, my FiL (so the deceased's son) - a gruff Yorkshireman, not known for his expression of emotion - said that seeing the children playing as he came out of the chapel, lifted his spirits enormously. I'm thinking that your dad may feel the same about your news.

Congratulations on your pg, and sorry for the loss of your grandfather. What an emotional time.

Gunsandposes Thu 01-Jun-17 10:19:13

That's lovely to know Bike... it's been a crazy time, had a bit of an emotional breakdown last night, poor DP hadn't got a clue what to do with me. I've managed to hold myself together quite well (I think) last night I got myself into a right tizzy

RosePrincess87 Mon 05-Jun-17 09:53:31

I actually told my DF after a family funeral. We don't see each other often, for completely different reasons to yourself. It was pretty obvious anyway as I looked rough and was fighting back the sickness. I didn't make a big announcement though. I waited for everyone to leave and told him privately.

InThisTogether Mon 24-Jul-17 13:04:00

we actually told our family at DFil's funeral, during my husband's eulogy... as in "and dad was delighted to know that InThis and I are expecting his first grandchild, which we got to tell him before he died".
Everybody we spoke to seemed pleased to be able to congratulate us and made a very sad day a little more sweet.

user1493413286 Mon 24-Jul-17 13:18:44

I think it could be a really good time to tell them.

holdthewine Sun 17-Sep-17 09:26:09

I agree that it would be a lovely thing to tell them that day. The circle of life, your DGF has died (father of your DF I assume) but he is going to be DGF himself. It's rather touching. Sorry for your loss.

catsanddogsfightless Mon 16-Oct-17 17:58:39

Congratulations on your news!
I would plan to mention it at the wake when the moment appears. If you can't do it then nothing ventrued nothing gained. I find that the happy stories get shared at the wake and people talk about the deceased good qualities and funny anecdotes. It would be wonderful to break the news there and then especially if you casually happen to be standing or sitting with just your DF and your DSM at the exact moment. Or perhaps ask one of them to step aside for a moment and then ask your DH/DP to bring the other one over to you. I have never had the chance to break pregnancy news as I have permanently failed to conceive. Enjoy your happy nappy news and I am confident your DF and DSM will be overjoyed at the announcement. As another poster said the circle of life etc. It is rather lovely to know there is new life on the way for you and your families. Congrats again!! X

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