Will I be judged?

(16 Posts)
ScarlettB18 Mon 13-Jun-16 14:30:41

Hi everyone!

I'm 18 and 10 weeks 5 days pregnant. I told all my family and friends yesterday and everyone has been really supportive of me and happy for me. I have been with my boyfriend for a long time we have lived together for nearly a year now, we also both have stable jobs and are stable financially.but I am still worried that when I start showing I will be judged because I just look young and pregnant and people will automatically assume I'm just another stupid teenager who has gotten pregnant sad this baby wasn't planned as I was chasing career but I'm also really happy I'm pregnant and haven't had any second thoughts about keeping it! are there any other young mums who have been through this? am I overreacting.. just a bit worried of of what people will think of me and I know I shouldn't care what other people think but I can't help itconfused

Thanks smile

LazyJournalistsQuoteMN Mon 13-Jun-16 14:36:18

Congratulations. You probably will get judged by some, but it doesn't matter because you know the truth and have the support of your family, friends and bf. Enjoy your pregnancy and don't let your fears overwhelm you. flowers

MrsGsnow18 Wed 06-Jul-16 17:45:48

Hi
Congratulations first of all!
Sadly you will be judged at some point because everyone is judged these days! That's just the way society is, some people will be judged for looking too skinny when their pregnant, some for looking too far, some for being too old to be parents, some young. Some people are judged for having too many kids etc. The list goes on and on. Basically it does not matter though! The best thing to do is forget about judgemental people and prove them wrong by enjoying your pregnancy and holding your head up proud. You've done nothing wrong, age is just a number. You're baby will be loved by you, your partner and your friends and family! flowers

FayaMAMA Fri 15-Jul-16 15:33:31

Firstly, congratulations! I had my daughters 3.5 years ago when I was 20 (I had the WORST baby face... Honestly, I still do) and was expecting to be judged harshly everywhere I went, but it really wasn't like that. Sometimes people would double take or be surprised, but everyone was very kind and supportive.

I would say I'm judged more now by the mum's at pick up time; my daughters attend a private preschool and a lot of the mothers are older mothers (in their 30s-40s) and I have felt excluded and judged to a certain extent. Maybe it's more because I don't want to be a school governor and am still studying, rather than my age though,

ANYWAY, don't worry, don't listen to what anyone else says - if you're happy then that is the most important thing. I'm sure you'll be fine. You're in a much better position to have children than I was, and things have worked well for me smile - good luck!

rachelamy Tue 01-Nov-16 11:57:12

im 22 and pregnant and people always have something to say! loads of people asked me if the baby was planned and how long ive been with my boyfriend for!! hmm just ignore any rude comments you get. all that matters is your baby smile

Nikki2ol6 Tue 22-Nov-16 10:58:04

Yes you will be! I was 18 too when I was pregnant but I look very young, I'm 26 now my daughter is 7 and she's tall like her dad so she's basically upto my shoulder because I'm only small so people think she's my little sister. I get ID'd constantly and I whip out my driving licence and often they don't believe my age and ask other members of staff to check this. I get bad looks all the time still when people hear her call me mum but I'm way passed caring she's a happy healthy beautiful girl Im not bothered what people think (which I think they think I was about 13 when I had her lol)
So yes some people will look at tut and throw a dirty look but some people say heyyy I was about your age too when I had my baby. But don't let it upset you, I'm sure old people who have babies are judged also but they probs don't care either

Doglikeafox Fri 02-Dec-16 08:48:09

Congratulations!
I've just turned 19 and my partner and I are going to start trying to conceive in the new year.
We have been together 3 years, lived together for 2 years and owned a house together for an entire year now.
My partner has a stable job and I run my own childminding business so I (hopefully) won't even have to take more than 2 weeks maternity leave. My partner is also an Ofsted Registered childminder so he will be helping me out for the first few months, so that takes a huge pressure off.
It is so fantastic that your family and friends are supportive of you- I know mine won't be! At the end of the day you have to do what is right for you. My family were just as upset when I turned down university in favour of my business and when I bought my first house on my 18th birthday but I'm not living my life for anyone else.
Best of luck and please try not to let others get to you! Xx

Doglikeafox Fri 02-Dec-16 08:50:09

Oh and, to answer your question a bit more, I go out and about now as a childminder with a 1 year old, two 2 year olds and 2 five year olds and you should see the looks I get grin

HarleyQuinzel Fri 02-Dec-16 09:00:32

My sister was a teen parent, I went out with her all the time and as far as I know she's never experienced much judgment or funny looks.

If someone judges without knowing anything about you, it says more about them than it does about you. Everyone gets judged for something in life, please don't let it ruin your experience. Congratulations!

HopingForALittleOne Sat 14-Jan-17 21:09:03

I wouldn't worry I think there will always be people who judge others - I'm trying to have a baby on my own and my close friends and family are very supportive but I am fully expecting others to disapprove even when they don't know reasons.
Congratulations, hold your head up high and enjoy your pregnancy xxx

MrsG30 Sun 15-Jan-17 22:01:13

Hi!

Congratulations!

There will always be people who feel the need to pass comment on someone else's choices. I'm so pleased for you that you're happy and have the support of your family and friends 😊.

If it helps you feel any better, the fear of others judgement made me avoid having children for years, now I'm staring 30 in the face and my husband and I are only just ttc- I'm terrified of having made things more difficult just because I cared what other people think. So well done for doing what is right for you and OH!

Try to ignore the haters, people like that really aren't important x

Flowerbunty Sun 15-Jan-17 22:20:55

there is a brilliant phrase for times like this

those who matter dont mind and those who mind don't matter

I was 18 when I had my first, I continued to work full time after mat leave and supported myself and my child. (tax credits helped obviously)
but if you, your partner and your loved ones are happy, never worry about anyone else

and massive congrats on your impending arrival flowersflowers

Lollysofa Wed 18-Jan-17 20:26:42

Walk tall and try to concentrate on creating an amazing life for the baby. I know it's hard to not care about what people think but you just need to be confident and own it!

baconsandwiches Mon 13-Feb-17 11:06:24

Congratulations!
I think unfortunately you will be by some people... but that's probably the same for any pregnant woman of any age for some reason. I'm 29 and have had people tell me I'm both too young and too old and 'should have started sooner'! Being financially stable at 18 puts you in a much more fortunate position than a lot of other young mums or even older ones too - wish you all the best and hope you enjoy every second smile

user1474299685 Mon 20-Feb-17 19:54:16

Congratulations, don't worry about other people if your happy stable it don't matter I had my first baby at 18 and I had bit of stick but I've proved them all wrong I'm in work and doing my.nursing degree at 23 pregnant with my second baby in my own home best wishes. X

ArriettyClock1 Mon 20-Feb-17 19:59:08

You will be judged because everyone is judged at some stage.

My friend will be 40 when her baby is born in May and she's had some awful comments about being too old!

Just enjoy your pregnancy and the fact it's considerably easier on a young body grin

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