Feeling Left Out

[HannahE2009]

Hi everyone,

Ive seen quite a few posts like the one I'm about to write, but I really wanted some direct advice.

One of my closest friends has just announced that she is pregnant. She is the first out of our friendship group to have a baby, so I am still in a way in a little bit of shock. At first, I thought it was a joke, as although she is a great friend and I love her dearly, she was a nightmare when she was younger, but a great laugh!

When she told me I cried and said how happy I was for her, and told her I couldn't wait to be involved in things like helping to organise a babyshower, that sort of thing.

However, during this conversation, she also told me that another of our close friends was told when she was around 4 weeks pregnant, when I was told when she was nearly 12 weeks.

Now I know it's normal to wait until 12 weeks to tell everyone, but I do feel hurt that another close friend has known for a lot longer than me, which obviously makes me think I am not as good of a friend.

Also, we have met up as a group before I was told, which has made me think that they all knew but not me... What have I done?? I just feel hurt to be left out for so long for no real reason.

I have been racking my brains as to why, and I have mentioned in the past that I am not the mother type, but we are all so young that I think that will change at some point for me. Also she has known my fiancé since school and also all of his friends, so I'm thinking she didn't tell me in case my other half told his friends sort of thing.

Would you bring this up with a friend if they did this? Or would you just let it be?

[Penfold007]

Putting this very gently, you are overthinking this. Other friend may have guessed or your mutual friend may have accidentally told her so she was sworn to secrecy. It's not about you and you have no reason or justification to feel hurt. I really wouldn't mention it.

[RaeSkywalker]

I also think you might be overthinking things, sorry

I've got my 12 week scan tomorrow afternoon. Currently the people who know I am pregnant (apart from DH) are my parents, my DB, and a close friend. They all know because I have been very unwell with HG and I couldn't keep it from them (I work with my friend, I needed her support).

I know that if all is ok tomorrow and we start telling other friends, some will be hurt that my work friend knew and they didn't. I just didn't want more people to know because if something is wrong, I don't want to have to tell the same horrible news again and again. I've told the bare minimum of people necessary to keep me alive and sane during the first trimester.

I'm not sure what your friend's situation is obviously, but please don't take it to heart. You sound like a lovely friend.