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gender disappointment - anyone else?

(81 Posts)
honeymoonmum Fri 27-Aug-10 21:06:42

So obviously I am delighted my baby is healthy, beautiful, safe.........

I was convinced it was a girl and I now have two boys. I have a horrible empty feeling in my stomach.

Anyone else feel robbed?

I feel spoilt and ungrateful; but just so wanted a daughter

Hyperhelpmum Wed 01-May-13 19:50:18

How funny this is still going! I am OP! I do adore my sons and in fact am pregnant again and could not care less what I have! I always thought I wanted a girl but now as a seasoned mother of two I am over the moon with my children who are total individuals and, the thing I had not experienced when they were 2 and newborn (they are now nearly three and five) they are amazing, loving people. When you have babies you can't imagine the people they will be. Once they are people, gender is irrelevant. They are unique personalities and if I have a third boy, I will look forward to seeing his personality develop as he grows. Once you have a relationship with your child, it does not matter one bit what gender they are. So speaks the voice of experience!

Jenijena Wed 01-May-13 19:59:44

I didn't know, because I knew if I had a boy I would be disappointed; that DH would be even more disappointed. I'm from two girls, the brother relationships I see (DH & BIL, Dad & uncle) are dysfunctional, and because mums of boys are a bit... odd as mil. grossly unfair generalisation based on personal anecdotes

A second at birth of 'oh - a willy' and now I adore being a mum of a boy, I'm thrilled for other people when they have boys, and I don't care a jot.

But #2... If, when that happens... I know DH wants that girl, but I've reconciled myself to being a mother of boys I'm going to be the mil in the future and would I try for a third?

amazingmumof6 Sat 01-Jun-13 17:45:37

sorry you feels this way.
when DS3 was born I was feeling disappointed for about 3 days as in the very last week of pg I was really hoping to have girl.
then we agreed on his name and everything fell into place and our third baby boy properly arrived.
I did wonder afterwards why I ever felt disappointed! smile

during 4th pg all I knew that if it's a boy he should be called Noah, which is what happened!
I did not wish for a boy or a girl.

then had MC, a girl.

next pg I was convinced we'd have a girl, but I wasn't hoping for one. I just "knew" it.
this was the only pg we found out the gender and utterly pissed ourselves laughing when we were told it's another boy . couldn't believe it!
had to call him Isaac...

then with last baby I thought we are more likely to have a boy and that maybe I can't carry girls.
6 boys would have been wonderful.
but DH kept on saying he had a feeling this one would be a girl and he was right!
Biggest surprise ever!

now a lot of people assume we "kept on going till we had a girl" which is ridiculous and insulting. you can't win

if you feel a bit unhappy that is understandable, some people feel disappointed about how the birth went down etc.
or bad choices or bad luck in general.
you can grieve for the little girl you now will never have, but and your crazy afterbirth hormones are not going to be helpful right now,
BUT JUST YOU WAIT until he first smiles at you!
you will fall in love with him for who he is, I guarantee that! smile
give yourself time and congratulations!

Amy106 Sat 01-Jun-13 22:16:00

I had a similar experience. Thought we were having a girl, but ended up with a boy. You feel surprised, maybe disappointed at's only natural. But boys are truly wonderful and I am sure glad we have ds. I know you will love having two little guys in your life. Just give yourself some time to adjust to the change.

Scoutish Wed 16-Oct-13 08:20:23

What an absolutely great way of looking at this not so big problem!! Like u I think that they are little pe

Scoutish Wed 16-Oct-13 08:22:26

Sorry getting used to a new phone.
Like u I think babies are little people who create there own destinies what ever their gender.

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