missed m/c

[sunnyside]

Sorry to be thick: miscarried two weeks ago, I'm gutted about it but don't know anything about it really except that sac measured approx 12 weeks but baby had stopped growing at 8 weeks,

Some people seem to know what sort of m/c they had: what is a missed m/c?

[Nemo1977]

hi
a missed mc is when you have no external signs anything is wrong and you retain the baby and continue to feel pregnant etc. It sounds like that is whats happened to you. I had one at 15wks but baby died between 9-10wks.Then had to have a d+c in dec...positive is though i am now 21wks pregnant. Do you have to go to hospital for intervention with it?
hugs to you and take time out to look after yourself.

[gingernut]

I'm sorry you've been through this sunnyside. A missed miscarriage means that the baby has died but you have not actually miscarried (i.e. your body has not expelled the embryo and sac etc). Often you are offered an ERPC/D&C in these circumstances (although sometimes the body does go on to miscarry naturally quite quickly).

HTH.

[dramaqueen72]

sorry you went thro this so recently sunnyside theres quite a fe ladies on her who have been thro it too, so do rant rave, cry and shout on here if it helps. I met the most fantastic group of women on here after mine. many of us are now successful pg after going thro the same thing around christmas/new year. take care of yourself.
And ask you dr for more details if you dont understand anything about your presonal experience, -you must have as many answers as poss to help you thro it.

[sunnyside]

thanks you three! Yes I was in hospital waiting for a d+c when nature stepped in. Happily I didn't have to have any further intervention.

I was surprised by my pregnancy but delighted and now feel absolutely desolate. I'm trying to focus on my DS and to be grateful that all's well with him. I'm ok when I'm busy during the day but not so good at night. It's great to hear that things have worked out for lots who've been in my situ.

Your support is much appreciated.

[dramaqueen72]

you sound good sunnny, keep going, keep hanging in there, i promise it will be better one day and you will not be 'over it' but will be on the other side, looking back at a sad horrible incident, rather than ploughing thro it. I hoe that makes sense. keep coming online and saying exactly how you feel, either here on on one of the many m/c threads. hopefully one day on one of the ttc after a m/c threads. give your ds a huge cuddle, they really do help you thro dont they.
take care.

[gingernut]

Sunnyside, glad to hear the physical side of things is sorted. That's what happened to me - I was booked in for an ERPC but miscarried naturally before I went in for it.

Don't be surprised if you feel very low for quite a long time so don't expect too much of yourself. I too found that keeping busy was a real help . Wish I had known about Mumsnet back then, it would have been a real support to me. I got pg again quite quickly and have since had 2 successful pgs.

Thinking of you and your family.

[jangus]

Hi Sunnyside.
Just wanted to let you know that Im thinking about you. I hope you are doing ok.
I had a missed mc in 2002 and it was a horrible horrible thing to just not know what was happening. I had a D&C and to be honest it took me a long time to get over it, I was just so scared by the fact that something had happened and I just carried on as normal not having a clue that anything was wrong.
I feel so bad for you and what you are going through.
I hope you are getting lots of support and looking after yourself.
Much love to you
XxX J

[Diddle]

Hi Sunnyside,
so sorry to hear what you have been through, I have had 2 missed m/c this year, and desolate is a good word to use. I felt so empty, shocked and drained. Don't worry if you feel like this for a while, it is quite normal, and being ok when you're busy is just how I was. But now after 4 months, I feel a little better about it all, and although its sad and very upsetting, Our times will come, when our bodies are ready.
We do have a TTC after a miscarriage thread, and if ever you would like to join us, when you're ready to get back on the wagon, we are a great group and have supported each other through so much.
Heres a link if you fancy visiting us.

ttc after a miscarriage

big hugs to you and your family. I know this a tough time, and although you'll never forget it, it will get easier.

[sunnyside]

Thanks again everyone, this really makes me cry but it feels therapeutic.
Diddle - I've peeped at the other thread and will keep you informed...

[joannieL]

Hang on in there - I had two missed m/c (and d&c)between Xmas and EAster and it was terrible but I'm feeling physically and emotionally good and strong now, and I've learned a lot. I'm 42 btw, so don't worry about it happening again. Have a rest, look after yourself, and try again
JoannieL xxx

[sunnyside]

I'm soooo mad!!! Just bumped into an ex work colleague in supermarket who congratulated me on my pregnancy. I didn't tell her but obviously someone had. I quickly explained that unfortunately I'd lost the baby but that I'm trying to focus on DS1. She replied 'I thought you'd been stupid going around telling everyone!' I was too stunned to come up with a response of any sort and just stood there as she told me how her clever daughter was going off to uni...as if I care at this mo! I haven't told everyone as she put it, but I did tell my ex boss as we've been good friends. I should've told him to keep quiet but obviously I didn't.

Sorry to bang on BUT THAT BLOODY WOMAN!

[joannieL]

Unbelievable!I would have been tempted to burst into tears (I'm sure you felt like it) and made her feel really bad. Telling people you're no longer pregnant is one of the most awful things to do anyway. I asked my husband to do it.
JoannieL
xxx