I don't know what to do

[Maybelline]

Hope this is the right place to post, I feel really lost.

My best friend is dying, and I'm so scared. Mentally I know it is going to happen but I can't deal with the feelings.

I keep seeing her everywhere, it's not her but just I will see a woman in the street and think it is her, and just fill up with tears.

How do you cope when you lose someone you love this much? I don't think I can manage without her, she has always been there through everything, since we were really young.

Sorry to go off on one, just am struggling to cope with it and I need to write it down.

thanks for reading.

[mrspoppins]

I don't know and it doesn't seem fair does it? I just wanted you to know that I'd seen your post and was sending you some support.
Talk lots,make some new final memories.Look at old pictures together. Depending on how she is feeling, just sit quietly and read to her/or simply sit...you will be okay and you will be able to smile again. It seems so impossible at the moment but it is true. If you were the one leaving your friend, you wouldn't want her to be distressed forever.Take care of yourself, and her and let us know how you are. I will keep this thread on my list.xx

[Maybelline]

Thankyou so much MrsPoppins.

I wish I could go and sit with her and talk, but we live quite a distance and she has totally stopped emailing now, and is in hospital. I feel like I can't reach her, can't do anything...I have written a letter saying how much she means to me, but I don't think she is ready from what I can gather, to actually know how bad things are iyswim.

I can't believe it either and I know I could not cope if it were me, with the reality of it. So I don't want to send it yet as it will upset her to face that kind of finality.

I so wish I could just sit and be with her. I will go and see her if her family make the right signals, that it's time.

thanks for answering, it means a lot. x

ps I do live here...I mean am one of the usual crowd...but she is an MNer and knows my usual name so thought I should change for this.

[mrspoppins]

well lots of love to you both...could you send her a taped letter that she can play? or a cd of music that mean things to you both or dvd of pictures and memories you've shared with her.
xx--xx

[Maybelline]

That is a good idea...and thankyou...I don't think she will be reading MN at present but I hope anyone who sees this thread will think of her.

I will try and get her a CD to listen to, she is sleeping a lot but it might help soothe
xx

[mrspoppins]

(((((Maybelline))))) xx