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my baby would have been due today :-(

(17 Posts)
Nemo1977 Sat 25-Jun-05 20:23:31

hi just need to share as obviously not a significant day to others and dh hasnt really said anything. All i have done is lie in bed all day but am really upset as my baby would have been due today. I know i am lucky as I am currently 15wks pg and seems to be going well but my last angel was one of three. I dont know why but the loss of last baby really hit me hard maybe because i have a ds who is 20mths so knew more what i lost iykwim. I just feel liking curling into a ball and crying Just needed to get it out really..supposed to have been a bday party tonight but just couldnt face it at all.

charleepeters Sat 25-Jun-05 20:25:23

oh Nemo i know how you feel i quite often think - if my baby had survived it would be this old and doing this ect. curl up on the sofa and cry if you need to it will make you feel better [hugs to you]

ja9 Sat 25-Jun-05 20:25:50

sending you hugs.

Nemo1977 Sat 25-Jun-05 20:26:35

thanks ladies...its weird cos have been thru other due dates but dont seem to have hit as hard overall as this baby did...

Dior Sat 25-Jun-05 20:27:53

Message withdrawn

pootlepod Sat 25-Jun-05 20:27:54

Nemo, sorry to hear about how you feel.

FWIW, I can relate to the feeling of understanding what you have lost, I need to think about having no. 2 and feel a miscarriage would be unbearable, knowing the joy of babies.

Whilst you have your baby to look forward too and ds, it is important to grieve. Hugs.

Cadmum Sat 25-Jun-05 20:28:48

Thinking of you Nemo... I have had similar experience and only time will heal. Thank you for being brave enough to share your grief.

fisil Sat 25-Jun-05 20:33:42

Big hugs Nemo. I had a very bad day on my due day, and it was only a few days after my 13 week scan (which was all healthy and good). I cried most of that day. I also cried on the anniversaries of finding out I was pg, seeing the empty scan and the ERPC. People told me that at least I already had ds (and was pg again) and so it was not as bad as it could be, but I agree with you - I know what I lost. And also going through pg and the early baby stages (ds2 is 7 weeks now) when everything is difficult, I keep thinking "I could have an 8 month old baby now and be past this stage". I know how you feel and you are not alone.

Nemo1977 Sat 25-Jun-05 20:37:40

thanks all it helps to know others feel the same...not that i want anyone to feel like this but ykwim

soapbox Sat 25-Jun-05 20:40:50

Nemo - its always hard going past the due date but it will lessen in time. Mine was due on my father's birthday and he died the same year so it was a double blow IYSWIM.

I'm not a terribly religious person but on baby's due date anniversary I like to think of both of them having a little celebration in a parallel universe

Take the time that you need to grieve - today was another little step on that journey!

george32 Sun 26-Jun-05 14:48:44

Oh Nemo, I'm so sorry. I wasn't on-line yesterday so missed this. You poor thing. It must have been an awful day.
I hope that you are feeling better today.

Sending you some cyber chocolate & ice-cream & {{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}

Willow2 Sun 26-Jun-05 14:51:54

I missed this yesterday, but am sending you a belated hug. xxx

Twiga Sun 26-Jun-05 15:16:14

Nemo, hope you're feeling a bit brighter today, sorry yesterday was so hard {{{hugs}}}

cori Sun 26-Jun-05 23:27:51

Hope your Ok Nemo.
I bet the due date is hardest hurdle to get past.

I was due to have my 25 week 4D scan yesterday Luckily DH cancelled the night before.

Hope tomorrow is better for you.

oaktree Mon 27-Jun-05 19:34:40

Oh how I feel for you nemo - i know how bloody awful it can be. i should either have a 7 wk old baby or a 5month bump but as luck would have it I have neither. All anniveraries are hard, but they do get (slightly) easier with time. I think men bottle these things up & are also generally crap at any sort of anniversary. Be kind to yourself in teh next few days & try to keep as busy as youcan bear - it WILL get better. Big hugs

shelly24 Wed 29-Jun-05 22:44:58

Hi nemo,i just wanted to bump you as I know how you felt a couple of days ago when your little baby would have been due.I ost my little boy at 33wks and hewould have been due this friday..1st of july.
Right now i am trying to keep so so busy,around the house,doing lots of tidying,ironing,etc,because when i stop i start thinking of what i really should be doing ,and i just break down,dh is really supportive,but at work during the day,and i'm in a situation where i want someone around(especially my dh),but avoid any phone calls or people who pop round to see me,because i don't want to talk/see anyone..does that make sence to anyone?
Nemo,i known exactly how you felt,and i don,t live in everyone elses world of monday to sunday,january to december,because most days i couldn't tell you the day,date or month!!!And i don't really care right now either.
Congratulations on your pregnancy by the way,it must be very scarey and exciting all rolled into one!If you don't mind me asking,how long was it before you got preg again?Right now all i want to do is try for another baby,i want that so badly!!
It will never replace the baby you lost,your angel will always be a special part of your life,and you will never forget them,but don't feel bad about crying and letting your grieve out.I hope i get pregnant soon too,i think it would help me to move on abit...

paolosgirl Wed 29-Jun-05 22:47:17

I know how you feel. The 20th of September was my due date 2 years ago - and it will always have a special significance. The first anniversary is the worst, I think, and then time being the wonderful healer that it is steps in, and makes it more bearable. Hugs to you...

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