My cousin's dss has committed suicide, is there anything that I can do/say to help him?

(8 Posts)
Cadmum Thu 03-Dec-09 16:17:58

As the thread title suggests, I am at a loss. My cousin's step-son lived with my cousin from the age of three and he has taken his own life this week at 22... I did not know him especially well because he would often be with his biological father when my family and I were back 'home'.

I cannot imagine what their family are going through at the moment but I would feel almost silly sending a card or attempting to talk to him on the phone because we seldom see each other and never communicate by phone or even email.

My cousin and I were relatively close growing up as we spent summers and the occasional Christmas together but I have lived overseas for the better part of 12 years so we have drifted apart since having our own families.

In my situation, would you send something? I am not likely to see him in person until the summer at the earliest.

Thanks.

OP’s posts: |
Cadmum Thu 03-Dec-09 16:34:24

selfish bump

OP’s posts: |
ajandjjmum Thu 03-Dec-09 16:40:29

I would send a card along the lines of 'know I can say nothing to really help, but wanted to know that we are thinking of you'.

How sad.

waitingforbedtime Thu 03-Dec-09 16:47:37

I would also send a card saying what previous poster said.

Cadmum Thu 03-Dec-09 17:39:41

Thanks. I suppose that a card would be better than nothing and then he (and his dcs) will know that we are thinking of them.

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bb99 Thu 03-Dec-09 17:47:52

Don't ignore them! Card would be helpful, agree with the other posters.

Phonecall would possibly be good, even if just to say, sorry for your loss, can't imagine what you are going through, what can we do to help and then listen to your cousin if they need to talk. Very hard to do, I know, but could really help.

Sorry this has touched your family and hope your cousin is OK. xx

Cadmum Thu 03-Dec-09 17:52:49

thanks bb99...

I don't know how I could have considered not saying anything. I will send a card asap and give my cousin a call in the next couple of days.

It will have come as an immense shock to everyone as he was feeling slightly down but seemed to be on the up-swing. His 1/2 siblings are still quite young (from 9-17) and I cannot imagine the impact that this will have on them.

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WingedVictory Fri 11-Dec-09 23:15:55

I totally agree with the other posters. It's bad enough facing a suicide and missing the person who was there; let your cousin at least have someone enter her life as someone has left it. She will be feeling very alone, and possibly be needing comfort and support. After all, she may feel "responsible", and that is an utterly poisonous position to be in.

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