thinking of you db

(4 Posts)
chocolateismymiddlename Fri 20-Nov-09 21:49:39

My db would have been 35 years old tomorrow. He died over 10 years ago from an epileptic fit. I still really miss him, even though we didn't always see eye to eye as children. Never thought I would still miss him after all this time and still have that empty feeling in my heart. Do other people who have been bereaved feel this way, even years later? Sometimes it just hits me like a ton of bricks

OP’s posts: |
MrsMalcolmTucker Fri 20-Nov-09 22:32:27

Hi - sorry you're feeling sad his evening. My sister died earlier this year and I'm just devastated.

My dad died 10 years ago, and yes, sometimes that still feels so painful but most of the time, there's enough distance to be able to remember him and celebrate him without grieving. I think the loss of a sibling is different though, because you expect to lose your parents, but you don't expect to lose your siblings so young.

I thought my sister would be around to grow old with me, and she's not, and that's hurts so much. I can see that it would still feel painful even after 10 years, and particularly around milestone dates like birthdays etc.

Anyway, I'm off to bed now, but just wanted to let you know you're not alone.

WingedVictory Sun 22-Nov-09 19:04:16

Of course you will remember your brother again and again, because that is the way we think of people we love: when they are alive but out of sight, they are not out of mind, and we don't root them out of ourselves when they die.

Sorry,this isn't cheerful, but isn't it better our loved ones stay with us somehow, rather than being lost completely, to mind as well as body?

weepootle Sun 22-Nov-09 19:16:38

Hi chocolate, I think their birthdays are the hardest time of the year. My older brother would've been 35 this year as well but died 3 years ago. In that time I've reached 33 - an age he never made it to, and that hurts so much.

I still feel the loss daily and feel like I'm stuck in my own little world I can't escape from.

What MrsMalcolm says is right- I think people underestimate the impact of losing a sibling.

Hope you're feeling better soon.

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