DH lost his mum last year; Dad many years back. He finally acknowledges he's depressed... what next?

[VulpusinaWilfsuit]

Hi. I hope you don't mind me posting on here. I don't know what to do to help him really. He isn't a 'talking' kind of guy but I think he realises now he has a lot of grief that hasn't 'gone' anywhere. He is often depressed, unhappy, angry. But I don't think he knows how to help himself and I don't know if I can.

Can he be happy again?

[Twinsmommy]

I think you need to make an appointment for him with his GP. If you fear he won't speak with the GP, make a double-appointment and go in with him (one for him, and one for you, back to back, so you have a little more time with the GP than just one appointment). Express your concerns, and let the GP take it from there.

[VulpusinaWilfsuit]

Thanks. What would a GP advise in this kind of situation do you think?

[Twinsmommy]

Well, I can only talk from my own/hubby's experience. I made double-appointment for my hubby and I, and expressed my concerns for him with the GP at the appointment. GP was very on-the-ball. We now have medication for him and he is being seen by a counsellor after a referral from the GP.

[itchyandscratchy]

I would ask GP for some advice about finding a suitable counsellor. There are some specialists in bereavement counselling: I saw one a few years back and it was very useful and helped me through a bad period. I did pay for one; it wasn't on NHS but some services might be? That's why it might be an idea to ask the GP

[VulpusinaWilfsuit]

Thanks - that's a good point about finding a specialist, even if we have to pay. I might show him this thread and see what he thinks...

[Twinsmommy]

If it's any help to know what happened at our GP appointment:

The GP took my hubby through a questionnaire (yes/no answers) to assess how depressed he was feeling. Then suggested the course of action.

My hubby says he feels a lot better in himself on his medication (not a horrendously huge dose, just enough to pick him up from where he was and get him back on an even keel.)

Counselling is ongoing (with me being with him for some appointments, and him alone on others - but all with the same counsellor).

Hope your DH gets the help he sounds like he needs. There is no shame in reaching out for help - I think that was one of the things I proved to my DH.