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Friends baby dies

(5 Posts)
kct Sun 25-Oct-09 11:14:07

When should i go and visit my friend her baby died friday night. I have talked to her mum but when should i visit her. Does she need time or her friends right now can anyone give me any advice.

Tambajam Sun 25-Oct-09 11:17:11

It depends how well you know her. If it was a good friend I would ring her mum again and say, 'I want to come and give a hug. What do you think?'
Then I would just turn up and have zero expectations. It could literally be a hug on the doorstep.

So sorry for your friend.

reindeermum Mon 26-Oct-09 21:17:32

I would go straight away. If she doesn't feel like answering the door, or sends you away, then that is her choice in her current grief, and should not be taken as any offence against you. I would then leave her a letter, and then try again a few days later. She will need you to hold her hand at some point when she is ready.

MissM Wed 28-Oct-09 12:24:47

Please go, don't wait for her to ask. When my brother died (know it's not the same) the 'friends' I found the hardest to forgive were those who said 'ring me anytime' and then went silent. She won't ring you. She won't even be able to speak at times. She won't know whether she wants you there or not, and she'll certainly not be able to ask. Go round and expect nothing as Tambajam said but be prepared to offer whatever is needed, even if it's hanging out the washing and putting a bolognaise in the freezer.

Doodleydoo Wed 28-Oct-09 12:28:25

Your poor friend, and poor you guys too, I know that it affects the whole network of friends when a baby dies.

I agree with going straight over, and not to take anything personally if she rejects you.

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