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not handling this well

(2 Posts)
seaglass Sun 18-Oct-09 11:59:50

My mil died on Friday. DH and I told the children on Friday evening, and since then we've barely seen him - he's been with his Dad - which is completely reasonable, his Dad is understanably very upset.
I'm now struggling with the DC's. They were all very upset, particularly DS1 (8) who was very close to his Nana. The children have been asking loads of questions, and seem OK with everything, but their behaviour is terrible. They go from being very quiet and reflective to being hyperactive little monsters who do not respond at all to being asked to be a bit quieter, or go outside, it must be due to the events of the last couple of days as this isn't normal, but I just don't know what to do.
I was very close to my MIL, and I'm finding it difficult to come to terms with, but I'm trying to keep everything as normal as possible for the DC's, but not doing it very well at all. They miss their father, but I can't ask him to spend less time with his Dad.
I've been a bit worried to tell the DC's off, as they have enough to deal with, but I think this may have backfired slightly as they are now walking all over me, and I'm finding it very difficult to be nice to them.
How can I sort all this out?
DH and his brother have plans to be with their father for the next week or two to make sure he's OK. How do I make things easier for the children? (and me ?)

5inthetomb Sun 18-Oct-09 12:11:02

So sorry for your loss sad.
I lost my FIL last year, and telling my DS1 was the worst thing I've had to do, as he was so close to his grandad.
I think the best way we could do for him was to keep things as normal as possible. Treat them as you normally would, tell them off if needed.
Is there anyone who can come watch them for a few hours so that you can go sit with your FIL and DH?Or could you take the kids with you so your FIL can see them as well?

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