I am lost for words, I need to write a sympathy card and I can't find the words

(14 Posts)
Kbear Sun 11-Oct-09 17:25:54

My cousin a few days ago and I want to send a sympathy card to my aunt and my cousin's children (they are now orphans as their dad died five years ago).

I am truly lost for words, usually I am quite good at writing from the heart but our hearts are broken by this news and everything I want to say sounds wrong.

Can anyone help with some words to help me put together what I want to say?

OP’s posts: |
bigchris Sun 11-Oct-09 17:31:50


are you close to your aunt? if yes i wouldnt senda card i would ring and offer to help all you can, especially with the kids

hope you are ok xxx

bloss Sun 11-Oct-09 17:38:29

Message withdrawn

Kbear Sun 11-Oct-09 17:44:51

Not very close, and she's away at the moment staying with relatives so I can't drop in anyway. I just wanted her and the girls to know they were in our thoughts. My cousin only died last week, they are, we all are, still in shock at the suddenness of it all. My cousin lives a way away and has her immediate family there taking care of her children etc so nothing practical I can do.

OP’s posts: |
Kbear Sun 11-Oct-09 17:46:08

Thanks bloss, writing it your way does say it all really I suppose. There are no words that can make it better, I just want them to know we are here and they are in our thoughts.

OP’s posts: |
TheOldestCat Sun 11-Oct-09 17:46:46

So sorry for you and your family. No wonder your heart is breaking.

Agree with bigchris that practical help - not the 'let me know what I can do to help' but getting involved if you can and your aunt and family want you to - is good.

But I think that long term a card or letter could be treasured too in years to come? Saying something in a card that seems clumsy will be better that nothing. DH still carries a card a friend sent when his sister died a few years ago. It talked about how nothing she (the friend) could say could bring comfort at such a terrible time, but that one day we would all remember DH's sister with joy as well as pain, knowing our lives were made the richer for knowing and loving her. It's always stuck with me.

Hope your family get a lot of support in this dark time.

bigchris Sun 11-Oct-09 17:47:47

in that case i think bloss' words sound perfect
maybe you could send something for the girls - depending on ages sticker books or something crafty to get them absorbed in something

Kbear Sun 11-Oct-09 17:48:30

We are a big family and the people closest to them are involved and doing the practical stuff.

OP’s posts: |
Kbear Sun 11-Oct-09 17:49:53

The girls are 14 and 11. Can't imagine their grief - I am writing to them separately. I usually write from the heart, and it just flows but I have had the card here for three days and I can't start.

OP’s posts: |
bigchris Sun 11-Oct-09 17:52:58

i think you sound fab tbh and i think whatever you send will be perfect
i think the idea of a seperate letter to the girls is a lively idea, just to let them know you are always only a phone call away and that in the holudays they can come and stay whenever they want
what an awful situation though sad

bigchris Sun 11-Oct-09 17:53:56

lovely idea

Kbear Sun 11-Oct-09 18:14:35

thanks for your replies everyone, I will ponder a bit more and hopefully have the courage to put pen to paper very soon. I'm scared to get it wrong in a way.

OP’s posts: |
FABIsInTraining Sun 11-Oct-09 18:16:58

So sorry for you all sad.

Could you try and put aside the family relationship and write what you would write?

I don't think you could get it wrong Kbear.

shootfromthehip Sun 11-Oct-09 18:23:05

'Death leaves a heartache no-one can heal,
Love leaves a memory no-one can steal'.

That's on my Dad's grave. Best epitaph we could come up with. It kind of summed up how we felt. Take care of yourself.

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