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I cant cope

(11 Posts)
LittleGirlLost09 Wed 07-Oct-09 18:28:27

I just cant cope with life without my mum, there is no-one else who can reassure me everything is going to be ok. Im so lost, alone and depressed. I love my dad to bits, he is the only thing keeping me going.

ABitWrong Wed 07-Oct-09 18:32:39

I am so sorry for your loss. Do myou have friends you can talk to?
Have you been to GP about your depression? I would imagine you wouldbe able to get some counsellking to help yiou through this.
Best wishes xx

stuffitllllama Wed 07-Oct-09 18:34:41

Poor you littlegirl. Your mum is up there willing you to know it's going to be ok. Her confidence and calming are still with you. You carry them inside now. In sticky situations think about what she would have done, and would have said. It will give you great pride to know you are carrying on as she would have wanted you to.

HeWontSleep Wed 07-Oct-09 18:37:31

LittleGirlLost09 Im so sorry. Your message had brought tears to my eyes. Counselling will definitely help, as suggested by ABitWrong. Best of luck.

chimchar Fri 09-Oct-09 12:32:54


i'm finding it increasingly difficult to cope with the loss of my mum too. she died on july 7th. the gaping hole in my life is huge. its so very hard isn't it.

there are no answers....sending you hugs. x

Lifesabitch Fri 09-Oct-09 21:17:45

LGL - how are you? I lost my beloved Mum in the summer and still cannot accept that she's gone. I miss her so much and am coping at the moment by shutting my feelings away. A friend lost her Dad recently and it brought it all back sad
I also just found out that I am pregnant again and it pains me that I can't share that with her. Dad is putting on a brave face but he's very lonely and support has now dwindled - I live over 200 miles away and do what I can. I have siblings who live within 10 miles of him but they're all getting on with their lives.
Sorry LGL....I have no real advice but wanted to let you know that you're not alone... thinking of you.

GhostWriter Fri 09-Oct-09 21:21:11

Oh I'm so sorry my lovely.

Do you know what, it's okay that you can't cope at the moment. Do you have somebody to cope for you? Somebody to lean on.

I just cannot imagine how you feel.

SalVolatile Fri 09-Oct-09 21:42:57

LGL - lost my darling mum on May 31st and I am still struggling, but Ive got good at pretending. I cry in the car when I am alone. I dont know when you lost your mum but just wanted to say you are not alone. I want my mum to reassure me, like you: its almost like a baby crying 'I want my Mummy'.... and I guess it takes time to accept that loss.sad

anastasia74 Sat 10-Oct-09 13:46:27

Littlegirl I don't really know what to say.

Just that I lost my dad in July and understand what you are going through. For me it means that Life does'nt feel real at the moment without him. I'm just treading water and cope by taking one day at a time.

I send you hugs and hope you have someone to talk to who is understanding and has been there themselves.

Thinking of you.

LittleGirlLost09 Sat 10-Oct-09 16:37:32

Knowing that people care enough to reply means a lot thank you. I wouldn't wish this on anyone but to know I'm not alone with these thoughts and feelings helps a bit to make me feel less alone and insane.

I'm seeing a bereavement counsellor, but although each session is a chance for me to talk things through and that helps, I am sadder at the end than when I went and it throws me off balance for a day or so after. That is the only real support I have. I dont have anyone to talk to or lean on, I dont want to upset my dad too much, he cant handle it. The only other person I thought I could rely on has just gone, which is adding to the pain.

Stuffitllama (great name!) thank you, I am trying very hard to do as you said, my mums wisdom and words and care are still with me I know, Im trying to keep going for her and my dad, and I dont want to let them down.

Chimchar, Lifesabitch, SalVolatile and Anastacia, Im so sorry you're going through this too, I lost my mum in May, not long ago at all yet its coming up to 5 months.. I wish none of us had this pain, I wish something could make it go away. I suppose it is just a case of taking one day at a time and trying to get by.

Love and hugs to all who replied.

Lifesabitch Sun 11-Oct-09 10:12:10

Hey LGL - this is just such a shitty time for us all sad....I still can't believe Mum has gone and in a way I don't 'feel' like she's gone iyswim?! I want to remember her and talk about her and I don't want to 'get over her' so it's annoying when family & friends gloss over what's happened and don't talk about her.
I can't really talk to my Dad either as I don't want to upset him even more but that does mean that I put on a front with him.
I have good days and bad but DH is a star - emotions are all over the place and pregnancy hormones haven't helped recently! I hope you find some way of dealing with your you have any of your Mum's things? I recently asked my Dad for my Mum's earrings - she only ever wore one pair and it's very comforting for me to have them. Also, remembering Mum in her happy and healthy days helps me rather than just remembering the last days (reliving the lead up to Mum passing away was something which I was doing a lot and it started to eat away at me). I also panicked a bit as I couldn't remember at first but digging up pictures and looking at Mum's smiley face, really warms my heart. She really was here and really made a difference smile
Thinking of everyone who is in this shitty place at the mo xx

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