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One uncle just died, one gravely ill in hospital, still struggling with death of Grandad in March

(6 Posts)
Disenchanted3 Fri 28-Aug-09 13:55:13

andall this is dragging that up.

My uncle was found passed away in his flat, autopsy shows no cause of death, he was 41.

My other uncle has chrones disease and had most of his small intestine removed, there have been serious complications (leaking into the abdomen) and had emergency surgery last night, he is now in intensive care under sedation

I don't want to have to go to more funerals, im not over the last one.

travellingwilbury Fri 28-Aug-09 19:43:16

I am so sorry you are going through this , you will cope with it all but you are right to feel you shouldn't have to .

mrstimlovejoy Wed 02-Sep-09 21:39:28

i know how you feel my godson died in feb he was 16,my aunt died in may and on sunday my friend died [37] married with 2 young dcs.i feel overcome with different feelings just i seem to be getting somewhere i'm back grieving again,thinking of you x

WingedVictory Thu 03-Sep-09 22:56:00

Poor you, Disenchanted, and you, too mrstimelovejoy!
Reading your posts, it occurred to me to ask whether you felt you were "short-changing" any of the people you are mourning for, because there were so many of them. If this IS the case, I hope you can at least realise that that guilt is unreasonable, and that could lighten your load a little. None of these people would have wanted to take away your mourning for any of the others, and it is just bad luck that it might have worked out that way.
Mourning is hard work, and it is work that seems to have to be done again and again! But, looking ahead, if you can turn your grief into the lifetime (but lighter) work of remembering the people, the memories will be their lives.
P.S. Sorry if those thoughts about guilt are off the mark. When I saw there was a bereavement thread, I started to really want to respond to people are in pain and who want contact! Hope you feel lighter by sharing.

mrstimlovejoy Fri 04-Sep-09 16:38:55

wingedvictory i just feel drained by grieving iykwim even though i was prepared for my aunt and friend passing away it still comes as a shock as you live each day wondering whether it'll be the last time you see them and suddenly that day comes and it doesn't seem real.as for my godson i felt like i'd been hit by a bus total accident so a real shock.
its like being on a rollercoaster and i'm finding myself sort of going through the motions as it is mentally and physically draining.thanks for posting xx

WingedVictory Fri 04-Sep-09 22:22:51

Oh, God, so sorry you are so exhausted. Please be sure to get some rest. You, too, Disenchanted. And if you do spend that period of rest going over things again and again in your mind, maybe that's what you have to do, either to finally believe it, or just to know that you have been thinking of them, giving them attention you feel they deserve, not necessarily with a view to "getting over it", which you don't seem happy to do. If you're not happy to "get over it" without reflection, do take the reflection. But don't lose track of everyone else, either! (least of all yourselves )

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