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My BF son has died today age 12.

(22 Posts)
melbob Mon 10-Aug-09 00:57:29

My BF son has died today he was 12 last week and had been ill for about a year. They live along way a way so I can't pop in or offer immediate practical help. I wiah I coudl help her

Saucepanman Mon 10-Aug-09 01:04:23

Oh melbob, I couldnt not post after reading, I am so sorry, for her and for you, for going through this. Is there any way you can visit her soon? If not just be there for her at the end of the phone. I am so sorry, and I am sure someone else will be along in a minute that will be of more use than I have. I will keep them and you in my prayers.

melbob Mon 10-Aug-09 01:08:16

I will go down this week prob thurs. She's not talking to anyone at the moment not even her DH adn other DS. Thanks SPM

AitchTwoOh Mon 10-Aug-09 01:13:43

god, i'm so sorry. it's the worst nightmare come true, isn't it? peace to your poor friend and the family. and you.

cathcat Mon 10-Aug-09 01:17:23

I'm so sorry for you all. You will find ways to help and comfort her and her family, keep being there for her.

cat64 Mon 10-Aug-09 01:20:49

Message withdrawn

mulranno Wed 12-Aug-09 12:10:56

little and often is he best way to help. might be over whelmed with offers of support now but she will need her friends to support her for years and years to come...keep it simple keep it frequent....just listen...dont try to make her better

chegirl Wed 12-Aug-09 13:50:42

I echo mulranno . Your friend will need you for a long time to come. Long after the others have faded away. She will need you to remember and talk about her boy and allow her to be bereaved for ever, not just for as long as others deem is 'healthy'

I am so sorry for you BF. My DD died aged 14. The hole she left is so huge, so vast. I have a very small group of friends who help me through. Most of all they understand that I am now forever different. I wont get 'better'. You cannot make the pain go away, dont even try. You can support her and allow her to grieve.

I am really sorry. sad

OrmIrian Wed 12-Aug-09 13:51:54

oh melbob sad I have a 12yr old DS and I couldn't cope if anything happened to him. Thinking of you and your poor friend.

ClaireDeLoon Wed 12-Aug-09 13:57:20

melbob I'm so very sorry

OnlyWantsOne Wed 12-Aug-09 13:58:16

Oh Melbob that's aweful :-(

cocolepew Wed 12-Aug-09 14:00:21

That's awful, so sorry.

grouchyoscar Wed 12-Aug-09 14:01:50

Melbob, so sad for your friend and for you too.

You may not be there in person but she'll know you're thinking of her

CarrieBo Wed 12-Aug-09 14:15:26

I'm so sorry
A friend who was widowed in her mid 20s said that she valued a friend who didn't live locally but phoned her every day for many months. She would say it was fine just to cry down the phone, and my friend valued that so much. I was speaking to another friend about grief yesterday (we have a friend who's just gone into a hospice) and she said when her mum died there was lots of immediate help, but its 6m, 1y, 2y later when the help had evaporated but they were still struggling, then they needed friends. Everyone else's lives had moved on, but theirs hadn't.
<hugs> to you all.

bubblagirl Wed 12-Aug-09 14:30:19

oh so sorry to hear this my thoughts and best wishes are with your friend and her family x

Wanderingsheep Wed 12-Aug-09 15:24:16

How awful. I. can't imagine what they must be going through. I'm so sorry.

hippipotamiHasLost55lbs Wed 12-Aug-09 15:32:13

I am so sorry, how awful sad

Lizzylou Wed 12-Aug-09 15:34:05

That is so sad, hoping that you can support and comfort your friend, Melbob sad

MamaG Wed 12-Aug-09 15:37:10

So sorry to hear this melbob, for you and your friend

HumphreyCobbler Wed 12-Aug-09 15:46:30

So sorry sad

noddyholder Wed 12-Aug-09 15:47:52

sad i am so sorry

Mamazon Wed 12-Aug-09 15:49:45

oh that is terrible news.
Im so very sorry for you all.

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