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Bereavement

My friend has just lost her baby. Any idea of a poem?

15 replies

Pitchounette · 17/07/2009 15:01

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lollyheart · 17/07/2009 15:04

So sorry to hear that

someone on here said these words which i think are lovely,

just a bud on earth but will bloom in heaven

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Pitchounette · 17/07/2009 17:22

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FabBakerGirlIsBack · 17/07/2009 17:26

I know you mean well but I would have hated a poem when we lost our babies.

A thoughtful card would be appreciated I am sure.

So sorry.

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Pitchounette · 17/07/2009 17:34

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GiraffesCanRunA10k · 17/07/2009 17:37

Tell her about SANDS if she didn't hear from hosp.

Sorry to hear that.

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Pitchounette · 17/07/2009 17:40

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GiraffesCanRunA10k · 17/07/2009 17:41

sands

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nkf · 17/07/2009 17:42

I wouldn't send a poem. I know you mean well but you don't always want to read a lot of stuff when you are hurting. And you don't always want other people's interpretations of your grief.

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Pitchounette · 17/07/2009 18:31

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FabBakerGirlIsBack · 17/07/2009 19:24

Don't try and be different for the sake of it.

I just tried to write something and it is surprisingly hard.

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nkf · 18/07/2009 16:38

There's nothing wrong with "I'm so sorry for your loss." It's just the right thing to write.

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annemarier · 18/07/2009 16:50

I lost four babies over six years and alot of my friends had no idea what to do ,and they thought staying away and not talking was what I needed but it wasnt .the best thing would be to stay in close touch with her and just a good sense of being mindful of her feelings ,send some flowers and just a note of love and thoughts ,its all about support , take care

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kid · 18/07/2009 17:14

How awful for your friend.
I haven't been in that situation myself but did experience someone dying and I found it hard to cope when people asked 'How are you feeling?'
I know they meant well but how did they think I was feeling? Its not a question I could answer. I think the best thing I heard was 'I'm sorry for your loss'
Then if I wanted to talk about it I could, if not then I could just mutter thank you.

Agree with the others about sending a card to say you are sorry and that you are thinking of them at this difficult time rather than finding a poem to send.

Perhaps you could send a poem to mark an anniversary or something similar at a later date, just not yet though. Its a lovely thought and I am sure your friend will appreciate having you round to support her.

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woollyjo · 18/07/2009 19:57

I had a similar terrible experience to your friend almost 3 weeks ago although the loss of heartbeat was not until immediately before or during labor and we did not know how serious it was until our daughter was born.

We have been sent lots of cards, some with poems. A lot were very churchy, relating to heaven etc and fitted better with the belief systems of the sender (I assume) than ours so provided little solace. It was enough to know that the sender acknowledged the loss of our daughter and wanted to support us in our grief.

I absolutely feel for your friend I wouldn't wish what we are going through now on anyone.

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woollyjo · 18/07/2009 20:01

I would also like to add that the freezer ready meals that friends prepared were brilliant as when we felt like eating there was something tasty, nutritious and convenient ready to have.

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