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Got ds's school report today, I wold normally pick up the phone, ring my Dad and we'd disect it together....(7 Posts)
...but he died in April and this time I can't call him an tonight I'm really feeeling it.
Of course dh is interested in it, but no one else was so interested in mine and ds's day to day life as much as my wonderful dad and I miss him so so much.
It's little things like this that knock me for six.
Just wanted to off load really.
That's ok, DrN.
It's always the first everything that's horrendous. Do you have a special place you go when you want to "talk" to your dad?
hugs to you DrN. Its so hard isn't it. I lost my dad 4 1/2 years ago and it took a good few years before I stopped wanting to call to tell him stuff. I lost my mum 6 weeks ago and it is still so very raw and I must have gone to pick up the phone to call her at least 5 times in the last week.
Just yesterday, I took my DS to his new school that he is starting in September and we realised that he was entitled to wear a different tie as he is a 'scholar' and that made me so proud and I wanted to phone mum and it took a split second to remember I'd never talk to her again. I just have to hold on to the fact that she KNEW he'd obtained an academic scholarship and knew all about the new school and was so proud of him.
I agree with differentID that its good to have a special place to go. Mum and dad are buried together (along with their first son who died age 3) and on Tuesday it was their wedding anniversary so I went to the cemetary and talked to them there. Showed them my new baby who they didn't get to see and I like to think they were looking down at him.
I read this at my Mums funeral, I used to be terrified of her dying, she read this to me and said that this was how she felt about it. I found a copy in her house after she died and hold on to the words. I get a lot of comfort from this, hope you do too. Keep talking to your Dad, I talk to my Mum every day. I sound like a complete nutta but I promise you I'm not!
Death is nothing at all,
I have only slipped away
into the next room.
I am I,
and you are you;
whatever we were to each other,
that, we still are.
Call me by my old familiar name,
speak to me in the easy way
which you always used,
put no difference in your tone,
wear no forced air
of solemnity or sorrow.
Laugh as we always laughed
at the little jokes we shared together.
Let my name ever be
the household word that it always was.
Let it be spoken without effect,
without the trace of a shadow on it.
Life means all
that it ever meant.
It is the same as it ever was.
There is unbroken continuity.
Why should I be out of mind
because I am out of sight?
I am waiting for you,
for an interval,
somewhere very near,
just around the corner.
All is well.
Henry Scott Holland
you are right about the little things, i think is cos we dont brace ourselves for those things and they creep up on us.
elliot has put his school report in his dad memory box, he thinks his dad can see things if they are in his box, he often puts a dvd box in so dad can watch the film with him.
Oh bless Elliott OJ, my heart breaks for all of you guys too.
Good night OJ, and thankyou for taking the time to reply to many of my posts about my Dad. xx