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my lovely mum died suddenly yesterday.....

(85 Posts)
chimchar Wed 08-Jul-09 18:48:36

...and i just can't deal with it...i'm numb..she had been unwell over the weekend. dad called the gp yesterday afternoon and 2 hours later, she was gone. i didn't get to say goodbye....

i hurt all over. i don't have brothers or sisters, so its just me and my dad. my mum was my best friend...i don't want to be without her....she was only 64. she was the most adoring grandma to my kids...

i just can't cope with this....its so wrong..

please help me...

Owls Wed 08-Jul-09 18:50:23

Oh I am so sorry. sad What an awful thing to happen. <hugs> sad

McDreamy Wed 08-Jul-09 18:51:43

Aw no how awful! So sorry chimchar sad

ihavenosecrets Wed 08-Jul-09 18:51:58

I am so sorry for your loss. sad

TequilaMockinBird Wed 08-Jul-09 18:52:06

So very sorry to read this sad

Thinking of you and praying for you all

(((hugs))) xx

cornsilk Wed 08-Jul-09 18:52:17

sorry for your loss sad

2shoes Wed 08-Jul-09 18:52:23

So sorry for your loss and your mum was so young.

Oh I am so very sorry to here this. What a horrendous shock. I can't imagine how you must be feeling, just be near your dad and the other people who loved her. I am so, so sorry sad

smartiejake Wed 08-Jul-09 18:53:34

What a terrible shock and so young too.

I have no wise words but so sorry. {{{{hugs}}}}

EdwardBitMe Wed 08-Jul-09 18:54:17

So so sorry for your loss sad
My mum was taken into hospital yesterday and I know how helpless you must feel. Can't imagine not having her around.
I hurt for you. Keep strong.

TheMadHouse Wed 08-Jul-09 18:54:45

I just wanted to add my thought and prayers I with you. I am so sorry for your loss

herbietea Wed 08-Jul-09 18:56:33

Message withdrawn

Hassled Wed 08-Jul-09 18:57:44

I'm so sorry. My father died very suddenly, and in many ways that was harder to deal with than the long illness my mother had - you just have to keep reminding yourself that she would have felt comparatively little pain and that from her point of view it was better to go quickly than long and lingering. But it is so hard for those left behind to try and pick up the pieces.

supersalstrawberry Wed 08-Jul-09 18:57:51

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mulranno Wed 08-Jul-09 19:00:23

Hello Chimchar....I am sure you are just reeling from shock at the moment. I am so very very sorry. You have a tough road ahead of you. Check in here we will hold your hand and wipe your tears.

Notalone Wed 08-Jul-09 19:01:35

What a terrible shock. I am so sorry you are having to go through this. I would echo what others have said - do you have a partner / close friend to lean on right now and does your dad have the same? It may be a bit soon but there is a bereavement charity called Cruse who may be able to help you either now or in the future. Sending you lots of virtual hugs.

ipiratethief Wed 08-Jul-09 19:02:50

i am sorry for your loss chimchar, what a terrible shock. sad

chimchar Wed 08-Jul-09 19:05:14

thanks everyone..all my friends have been lovely..lots of messages and offers of help but there is nothing anyone can do to help is there? tbh, i can't face the thought of seeng anyone...i feel so very alone and worried for my dad. there's got to be a post mortem which is being done tomorrow, and then depending on the outcome of that, the funeral is to be booked.... i can't even begin to think bout it. i think i might collapse with pain before that...

my head is buzzing, my stomach is churning, i keep crying, and can't seem to hold it together...

mulranno Wed 08-Jul-09 19:15:44

Let it out Chimchar...scream if you want to...you dont need to hold anything together...a good howling cry will help

KIMItheThreadSlayer Wed 08-Jul-09 19:17:16

So sorry for your loss,

Doyouthinktheysaurus Wed 08-Jul-09 19:19:40

Oh I'm so sorry for you chimcharsad

abraid Wed 08-Jul-09 19:23:00

How dreadful. I'm so sorry to hear this awful news.

runnyhabbit Wed 08-Jul-09 19:26:35

chimchar, so sorry that you are going through this.

As others have said, don't bottle it up - let it all out x

Kazzi79 Wed 08-Jul-09 19:31:23

I haven't read the rest of the thread but just want to say my thoughts are with you.

I lost my dad in similar circumstances last year, tbh I still think I'm in shock over it I've never grieved, my dad was only 53 and as stupid as this sounds when my brother phoned and told me the news I just laughed, I don't know what I was supposed to do after all what is the right way to react when you've just been told one of your parents has died? I felt guilty for not crying but it just wouldnt come.

The good thing about having children is they keep you going, they'll be feeling this too, its not wrong to feel confused, angry and upset, its not wrong to take yourself off and have a good old cry if you need to. Hopefully you and your dad can support each other at this sad time and it sounds as though you have some fantastic friends.

My thoughts are with you all xxx

frumpygrumpy Wed 08-Jul-09 19:34:26

chimchar, that is just it. This is the time not to hold it together xxxxxxx. Everything can go arse over tit and its ok. You feel like you are falling apart.........so let that happen, others can piece things together until you let the shock subside a little. You are shocked to the core, and that could stay for a while.

Losing someone unexpectedly is the worst thing IMHO. The shock remains. You had no time to prepare for this. Give yourself extra time to let the shock sink in before you even begin to deal with all the rest.

Do whatever you need to get through today, and apply that to everyday. Keep posting, lots and lots of people on here can support you.

I am so very sorry you have to face this. Death is a cruel, cruel thing but you will get to a point, a long time from now, when you will be able to look back at this and remember your lovely mum with a smile. Watch out for her, I believe our loved ones always watch for us.

Thinking of you x.

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