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Funeral songs?

(20 Posts)
pamelat Tue 16-Jun-09 09:42:25

My grandma died on Saturday. It still does not seem real but either way, the funeral is happening next week. Tuesday or Wednesday.

I have written a small letter to her to read out, its very informal and personal.

I am going with grandad and mum to see the funeral people this afternoon and they need to know which songs to have.

My grandma, despite being 83 (84 in two weeks sad) did not like hymns nor "old people" songs, as she called them.

We are having "All things bright and beautiful" because she chose that at my baby cousins funeral a long time ago.

However we need a couple of non hymn songs.

She liked modern music, such as Take That, Abba and Kylie (because we did as teenagers smile). Any appropriate suggestions?

Dancing Queen was her favourite but it feels wrong?

differentID Tue 16-Jun-09 09:44:19

your Gran sounds like she was a fantastic lady, Pamelat. If Dancing Queen was her favourite, and you have great memories of her dancing to it, go with it and smile at her memory.

Tommy Tue 16-Jun-09 09:44:49

you can have Dancing Queen if you want it! I went to a funeral once where they had "Life is a cabaret" - it will make you smile and remember your Grandma in a hapy way. Also, every time you hear the song afterwards, you'l think of her and smile smile

pamelat Tue 16-Jun-09 09:47:55

Thank you. Its made harder because my cousin and I were so close to her and know what she would like. But at the same time we have to respect my grandad (who would like traditional things) but that isnt what grandad would like. He has given us some leeway with the "non hymn" bit.

Its like afterwards they want to go to a pub but grandma hated pubs. She always said the best "parties" were at someones house but again, its not something to fall out about.

Will run dancing queen past him later ...

differentID Tue 16-Jun-09 09:50:31

to compromise, how about "Do Not stand at my grave and weep" by Libera? if you want another one.

DrNortherner Tue 16-Jun-09 22:06:47

What about Lord of the dance?

everlong Tue 16-Jun-09 22:08:00

I think Dancing Queen would be a wonderul tribute to your grandma, it's a song she liked and is something that you can relate to her.

BusyBeeWithThree Tue 16-Jun-09 22:16:02

Just keep in mind that if you have Dancing Queen whenever you hear it in the future you will feel emotional.

shadowofacow Wed 17-Jun-09 13:01:54

another version perhaps?

pamelat Wed 17-Jun-09 17:42:37

Thanks all. We have until tomorrow morning to pick 2 songs.

Dancing Queen has not proved popular amongst the family.

Looking for Take That ideas now, she apparently especially loved Gary Barlow.

I have written my reading to her.

Yesterday was awful, today was ok ish (work helped today). Guess its going to be up and down like that.

Hassled Wed 17-Jun-09 17:49:05

I think it's really important that you pick something you have fond memories of your Gran singing/listening to. It sounds like she was wonderful .

pamelat Fri 19-Jun-09 12:58:18

We have been allowed Dancing queen.

So, a Million Love Songs by take that on the way in. All thing sbright and beautiful in the ceremony and dancing queen on the way out.

It was a vote in the end with grandads ultimate approval .

pamelat Fri 19-Jun-09 12:59:23

Can I post my reading here (made up) to see what you think. I wonder whether its too informal.
I also am not sure I can read it but my DH has said he will take over if I can not.

lottiejenkins Fri 19-Jun-09 17:54:57

Do post it, and am glad your having dancing queen, i love that song!!

mumoverseas Fri 19-Jun-09 18:05:04

You CAN do it pamelat, I managed to do two readings at my mum's funeral on Monday, one at the mass and one at the burial.
I had thought I wouldn't be able to do it as it was two poems that mum had written when her first son died aged 3. Very, very moving and I was struggling to read them privately, possibly because I have a baby boy and when it got to parts about meeting again in heaven, I'd break down. I arranged for DD aged 13 to read the second half of the one in church as thought I'd break down and she did beautifully and I managed the one at the burial although I broke down afterwards. I looked on it as the final thing I could do for my mum and it was important that someone read them as they were so important to her. Good luck x

mulranno Fri 19-Jun-09 22:36:08

Pamelat...it cant be too informal...the more informal the more real the more personal...sing from your heart...say what you feel...as mumoverseas says...look for strenght by thinking this is the last thing I can ever do for my nan... and I will do it with love and pride...good luck..and well done ..what a tribute and it will bring great comfort to your grandad to see the love she showered on her family refelected back....Mx

pamelat Sat 20-Jun-09 19:42:40

Grandma, all of your favourite people are gathered here today
We are here to celebrate how wonderful a person you are, and to say our goodbyes .... for now.
I know that I could have not asked for a better grandma and I know we all feel the same about that. We love you grandma.
You were such an important influence on how we all grew up. You were just as a grandma should be, and more.
We will all miss your nightly chats with you, and I know I am also going to miss hearing “I am now you’ve rang”.
We took those calls for granted and would give anything to have a last chat with you. I’m so sorry that we don’t have that.
Looking back to happier and younger times I miss our walks with Jamie, I miss mini smarties over the fence, I miss frozen chocolate bars and I will always miss having a hand to hold.
Do you remember how Jamie used to put wet warm stones in our laps sat outside on your deck chairs? I know you missed those times, those were the better times.
It all went so quickly grandma.
You’ve always wanted our family to be close and for people to look out for each other, and we will.
I hope that you are at peace now, with an end to your suffering, you always said it was unfair to be in pain. And that’s true.
You deserved the best in this life and I am proud to have shared so many special times with you.
I am especially proud to have shared the first year and almost a half of my daughters life with you. I am so glad that you met Ella.
Sometimes you seemed to be the only person who remembered those early difficult baby months, you always knew the right thing to say, and I will miss that.
Family meant a lot to you and you were a natural.
Ella will be told lots of stories about you when she is older, and I hope to instill your family values in to her.
I can’t believe that you are not here with us now, I’m not sure I ever will, but you are forever in my heart. In everything that I do in my life, I will think of you and talk of and to you often.
You always said “will you think of me?” and of course, I always will.

lottiejenkins Sat 20-Jun-09 19:52:06

Oh Pamelat, that really is beautiful!! Truly! The love you have for your grandma shines out! I hope you have the courage to read it out! My love and prayers to you xxxx

springlamb Sat 20-Jun-09 19:59:19

That's lovely.
Just read this thread and really hope all goes just as she would have wanted it to.

One of the things that helped my 3 sisters and I so much after dad died last year was that we had done things exactly as he and Mum (who died some years ago) would have wanted. We are 4 very different women, with very different partners, yet taking all the decisions together and really making sure everyone was involved made such a difference to how we felt afterwards. We had 'done him proud'.

You shouldn't have hesitated over Dancing Queen and I'm so glad you went with it - we took the plunge and had Mama Cass to go in by, Acker Bilk for the committal and Dad's favourite Carl Denver version of Mexicali Rose played at the end of Dad's funeral. If you know this (or You Tube it) you'll realise it has a somewhat startling beginning. So many people told us afterwards it had been exactly the right choice.

Your reading is lovely and you are doing your Grandma proud.

ohfuschia Sat 20-Jun-09 20:03:46

The letter is beautiful,so moving, it is plain how much your Grandma meant to you

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