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Writing a card to friend who has lost a baby at 36 wks gestation

(7 Posts)
potatofactory Tue 09-Jun-09 07:50:41

She has asked for no direct communication, but I want to send something. I'm struggling about what to say - it all sounds so trite - any tips? sad

Rangirl Tue 09-Jun-09 08:12:11

So sorry to hear of this.I lost DS1 at 37 weeks some years ago.I think plain cards are better than 'bereavement' cards.To be honest whatever you write won't prbably get through to her at this stage but may help in the longer term.Keep it simple,say how sorry you are on the loss of her son/daughter ,if she has named baby use the name,do not try to downplay it.Might sound a bit odd but some people seem to treat this like something that has happened ,sad,but not actually like a death of a child.i know you would not say this but some people don't think and tell you that you can try again etc.The letters that stayed with me are the ones from the heart,try and write something not just 'from x and x'

potatofactory Tue 09-Jun-09 08:18:02

Thanks so much for this Rangirl. So sorry to hear this happened to you. I will keep it very simple. I really appreciate your help, here. I had already decided against any kind of bereavement card, so I'm glad you agree here.

CrochetDiva Tue 09-Jun-09 08:24:07

This is what I wrote to a friend who lost a baby 3 days after he was born just after my dd was born ...

Words are useless.
I hope you and your family receive all the love, care and support you need.
It is so so sad that your beautiful baby won't be with you in this world.
All of you take your time to grieve: shut out the world until you are ready to begin to join in again.
Be sure that we are thinking of you, and will give you all our love and support whenever you need it.
With love and sympathy to you.

potatofactory Tue 09-Jun-09 08:28:49

That's a really lovely message, CrochetDiva, Thank you. It's just so awful it's difficult to know where to begin, but that says what is needed I think. I will write something similar.

Thank you

Deemented Tue 09-Jun-09 08:41:33

One of the cards i received after my son Ciaran died simply said

'There are no words - only love. Only Love'

And that stayed with me.

potatofactory Tue 09-Jun-09 09:09:14

Thank you Deemented - so sorry to hear about your son.

I'm so grateful for all advice.

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