I just want this nightmare to end

[DrNortherner]

I lost my Dad 5 weeks ago. I have cried every day since. I feel so sad he is not around anymore.

I alos feel terribly sad for my Mam, who lives 90 miles away. She has been staying with us for a week, and she went home today. I have just spoken to her and she is diatraught to be back in an empty house, she misses Dad so much.

He was only 65 and I feel so bitterly sad they were robbed of ejoying retirement together. My mam should not be alone, he should be with her.

My sadness for her is almost as bad as the grief I feel for losing dad. I want to sob down the phone to her but feel I have to be strong.

I am normally quite resiliant and bounce back from things but this is wearing me out, I just want it to end.

I know no one can make it better, just therapeutic to let it out on here.

[mumjoanne]

Hi - so so sorry for your loss - that sound so very inadequate but I really feel for you. I don't think there is anything I can say to make it feel better only that you and your Mum can be there for each other and support each other through.

[EccentricaGallumbits]

no wise words. just an unMNish hug.

[FabulousBakerGirl]

I am so sorry for you and your mum. You have both lost the same man but one who meant different things to you.

Could you consider asking your mum to move closer to you?

[noddyholder]

i am so sorry for you all .How young 65 seems as we all get older.Your mum is going to need a lot of support to learn to just 'be' on her own.Hopefully all teh lovely memories will one day comfort her but for now you can just listen and give her time xx

[princessmel]

Same as Gullambits for you and your mother DrN

[DrNortherner]

Moving closer is not really an option. She is in Teesside and what she would get for her house would buy nothing in Harroagte where I live. Plus, dh and I work, so she will still be alone during the day. At home she has her friends, 4 sisters and mother all nearby.

[forkhandles]

oh DrNortherner my dad died at 58 in 2001 and it used to make me so sad when I phoned mum as some days she needed to clear her throat before she could speak because I was the first person she'd spoken to all day, and I could be calling at lunch time or in the afternoon. It left such a gaping hole in mum's life, and obvisouly I missed dad so much too but I had my own family and home so it was different in a way.

Sorry that's not much help, but I just wanted to say I know how you feel and in time you will both adjust to your new lives without your dad. I still shed a tear about what a wonderful Grandad dad would have made.

It is good to let it out, I had a couple of friends in particular who were really good to talk to, they didn't go on and on about it to me, but really would listen if I needed them to. So here's another unMN HUG for you and a to make you smile too. xx