my brother would have been 30 today

[Woooozle100]

had he not killed himself when he was 19

I feel very sad. More sad than every other anniversary that has passed. Maybe because I'm trying to imagine him as a proper grown up.. wondering how he would have changed and matured, whether he'd have had kids or not. Wishing so hard that we were celebrating milestone birthday now.. not feeling so sad / futile / bitter / cross

[LaTrucha]

Sorry Pixiemason. You can never tell when it's going to hit you, can you?

[CountessDracula]

how sad