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Why are days like this so bloody hard??????????????

(15 Posts)
BubblesDeVere Wed 20-Apr-05 12:20:04

It's dads birthday today and he would have been 73 today.

He died unexpectedly in his sleep 4 years ago and I always find his birthday and christmas particularly hard.

Mothernature Wed 20-Apr-05 12:23:05

{{{hugs}}} I find it hard too, I miss both my parents, I buy flowers and wish them happy birthday anyway...

almostanangel Wed 20-Apr-05 12:34:18

[[[hugs]]] lost my dad the fathers day last year ..was heart broken a few weeks ago as was mum and das anniversary and she didnt remember till i opened my big mouth,,,,i miss silly things about him his hair and his big hands ,,

almostanangel Wed 20-Apr-05 12:37:18

i have kept his glasses and his tobacco tin ,,but dont have theout i had hidden them in the blanket basket ..the other day i was putting a blanket in there and got them out opened the tin and thought of my dad ,,,most days im ok then if im feeling down i just want him back soooooooo much so i know how you are feeling ..

swiperfox Wed 20-Apr-05 12:40:34

I have my grandad's tobacco tin too. It's got his watch and a tie-pin and his weight-watchers golden snowflake(?!) in it.

He was only 66 when he died 7 years ago and its still so hard. I wish my two had known him, they would've loved him to bits

almostanangel Wed 20-Apr-05 12:41:14

but i know that doesnt help does it??

swiperfox Wed 20-Apr-05 12:42:39

Do you think you will ever make it to go and 'see' him? Maybe it'll bring the closure you need to start grieving

almostanangel Wed 20-Apr-05 12:42:59

oh sf.. my dad was 81 so i was lucky to have him for so long really and i was holding his hand when he died ...im glad i had my girls young so they have known their grandparents my mum had me when she was 47 so i never met mine..

BubblesDeVere Wed 20-Apr-05 12:57:34

nah, can't go and see him, we had a service at our crematorium and had a rose bush planted with a plaque underneath and then his ashes were scattered on a field where the house used to be that he grew up in (his choice).

I haven't grieved as I had to deal with too much, arranging his funeral, cremation, scattering of ashes, being threatend and getting nasty phonecalls (off siblings), and to be honest I don't feel ready to grieve yet, i got his wedding ring, his favourite jumper, some photos and a have eaten pack of extra strong mints, but they are all in a box and I can't bring myself to getting them out.

Maybe if I grieved it would be easier to cope on these days, but i honestly don't know.

almostanangel Wed 20-Apr-05 13:31:00

you are grieving..greiving has no log book it is different everyday,,dont feel guilty for not crying....

triplets Wed 20-Apr-05 20:38:13

Hi,
I lost my father in 2000, he was 74 and I loved him as I have loved no other man, even Harry. He had a bad heart, but was taken ill very quickly and died two weeks later with cancer in four places, such a shock, no time to come to terms with it. I miss him so much, I go to mums on Sat and all thats left is his cap hanging up behind the front door, I always go in and touch it and say hello to him. I don`t cry for him which has surprised me, that is because he told me before he died, no more tears, he had watched me cry for 6 years following the sudden death of my beautiful son, my then only child, Matthew. I have never ever known such pain as that, there is no words that begin to describe the awfulness of it. So having experienced that and survived, having had triplets at 46 and survived, I can honestly say that although you cannot see it now, it will become bearable, you will live, love and laugh again, it will happen ,and thank God it does.

Nemo1977 Wed 20-Apr-05 20:43:27

aww hun huge hugs to u and thinking of u...

Spacecadet Wed 20-Apr-05 21:30:05

anniverasries are horrible arent they? I still grieve on the day my baby was stillborn 15 years ago, it never goes away, you dont forget but it does get easier with time, I still miss my grandma who died 1o years ago, the day before my birthday, I lived with her for a long time so she was extra special, I often have dreams where she is still alive, then I wake up and realise it was just a dream.

triplets Wed 20-Apr-05 21:46:08

Thank you for the hug Nemo, much needed and appreciated. Just had one of my trio sitting on the stairs as its gone 9.30pm and he is still playing around in his room, Becca shouting she can`t get to sleep "cos of the boys"! Now if they were all up bright and breezy in the morning like me, fair enough, but I will be greeted with three grumpy(though adorable) faces! I am staying on here to keep my sanity, don`t know what I would do without it!

Pol25 Wed 20-Apr-05 22:08:51

its my mums birthday on the 30th and she hasn't seen my D... Oh how she would've made a great Grom

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